If there is one country in the world that would seem to not ever produce mail order brides it is China. For political, cultural, and demographic reasons there should not be any Chinese mail order brides… but there are, and the fact that there are tens of thousands of them is an amazing story that shatters the mainstream media criticism of international dating. At the same time a different set of cultural issues helps make Chinese brides great wives for Western men, but few Western men even know Chinese mail order brides exist. It is understandable why Western men do not think of the most populous country in the world first when they think about mail order brides. China is often not even on the list of places that men consider when they begin thinking about Asian ladies and there are a lot of good reasons for that. Until about ten years ago Chinese women were not one of the main groups of women who regularly sign up to become foreign brides, but it is another one of the long lists of myths about international dating that there are not Chinese mail order brides. Today Chinese women are often the most common Asian ladies on international dating sites and for many men the most attractive because they break a lot of the preconceived notions about international dating. They are unique. That is why so many Western men are beginning to consider Chinese women for marriage when they start looking overseas. Single Chinese women are more likely to be highly educated, successful, and generally more sophisticated about the world than women from Thailand, Vietnam, the Philippines, or other Asian nations. This is in large measure because most Chinese women are only children who had the attention and financial resources of their family lavished solely on them. Because China is an incredible mix of the modern and the ancient. It is one of the most technically advanced nations in the world, but it is also traditional and in regions backwards. For women this is a challenge. They are pressured to be educated and cultured, but also forced to follow ancient traditions about dating and marriage.
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These are a special group of ladies. China is the most complex international dating situation in the world with a thousand crazy issues from ancient ones, like the bias for boys and the necessity of paying a bride price, to the unintended results of centralized planning and sex robots. Probably the biggest reason that most Western men searching for a foreign wife do not think about Chinese brides is that it is almost common knowledge that China has a shortage of women. Now, I know what you are thinking. You are expecting me to explain that this is an urban legend and that there is really a huge surplus of Chinese ladies. No, I am not about to drop a link to Snopes that this is all a crazy Chinese urban legend. There is a huge shortage of women in China. According to the best demographic evidence available, there are about 34,, more men than women in China. So, superficially it would appear to be the last place on earth a man would go if he was searching for a woman, but for Chinese singles things are complicated. Nothing is exactly as it appears to be and that is doubly true in this case. The numbers are just brutal, but cultural, economic, and political factors mitigate the situation and create room for foreigners looking for Chinese women for marriage.
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The reasons for the shortage of marriageable women are simple. So, there were good reasons behind the policy, but Deng did not see some of the unintended consequences that always accompany centralized planning. China had a long tradition of large families, but as paramount leader Deng had the power to push through the one-child policy and get it strictly enforced. Families having more than one child were fined and sometimes women expecting second or third children were forced to have abortions. What Deng and later Chinese leaders could not do was change the bias of the people towards sons. For uncounted generations, a Chinese man who did not produce a male heir was considered a miserable failure — a failure to himself and all of his ancestors for letting the family line die out. Baby boys were celebrated, but baby girls were grudgingly accepted as the price for doing business. Even in large families that already had several male heirs lined up the birth of a girl was never as celebrated as the birth of a boy. Once the one-child policy went into effect these deeply rooted cultural biases meant that many Chinese families went to great lengths, including murder, to ensure the birth of a boy. When ultrasound and later MRI technology were introduced the primary use was to determine the sex of an unborn baby so females could be aborted. This quickly led to the gender imbalance that China faces today.
Chinese Mail Order Brides: Calm, Pretty, And Motivated To Marry A Foreigner
Not so, dear readers. We have to go even deeper down the rabbit hole to get to the hidden truths. For singles the situation is crazy. First, the distribution of men and women in China is uneven. In rural areas men almost never leave, because there is often a desperate shortage of laborers to do heavy farm work and in the end, the boys will usually inherit a farm. Most poor rural girls — move into a city at seventeen or eighteen years old to work in one of the innumerable Chinese factories. They send a big chunk of their earnings home whether they really want to or not. Middle and upper-class girls also leave small towns and villages to go to university or technical school leaving virtually no marriageable girls in rural areas of the country. It also means that cities are overflowing with women. Not only that he is going to have a lot of competition. And so for many girls, it is just easier and simpler to sign up with a Chinese mail order bride site and start actively looking for a foreign man than to continue trying to find the perfect Chinese husband.Fitness has become huge in China. Asian women always paid attention to their bodies, but usually, they did that simply by eating carefully. There are fitness clubs in cities and towns of any size. Chinese women are big fans of yoga and Zumba. Some take dancing classes and martial arts and weightlifting are also gaining ground. So, now you will see fit, toned women across the country. There are huge cultural differences between Chinese and North American women, for example, and it goes beyond just attitude. In terms of facial appearance, yes they usually will have slightly rounded faces, clear skin, bright almond-shaped eyes, long dark hair, and small but oddly full lips. And they exude this in almost everything they do, from just walking across the street to making a serious first impression on a date. The simple truth is that Chinese women have great genetics and it shows. Sadly, plastic surgery is becoming more common with a surprising number of Chinese brides paying to — get this — look more like European and North American women.
Chinese Mail Order Brides: Calm, Pretty, And Motivated To Marry A Foreigner
All women love to be romanced, but Chinese brides are particularly enthralled with romantic notions. There are lots of reasons for this, but the main one is that romance represents a very deep form of personal freedom. Every Chinese girl knows stories of grandmothers who were basically sold off to strange men who offered a good bride price in arranged marriages. With a little variation that was the tradition across China. The wishes of the bride barely mattered. Although many things changed after the victory of the Communist the tradition of arranged marriages more or less continued, especially in rural areas. But the Communist did offer a lot of new opportunities for young women in terms of education and employment and those changes inadvertently led to a growth in the idea of romantic love. Before the Revolution, it was rare for boys and girls to spend much time together, but the Communist Party put them together in schools, clubs, factories, and offices and the notion of romantic love quickly flourished. But the culture of the home did not change. Traditionally, a Chinese husband is the absolute master at home. So, the average Chinese husband tends to be more dictatorial than most hard-line, conservative American husbands ever were.
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During the old days of arranged marriages that were fine, perhaps even necessary, but it clashed with the new romantic notions many Chinese brides brought into a marriage. But Chinese women watch American and European romantic comedies. They know there is another model of romance and marriage out there and they like it. You see, most Chinese of marrying age are only-children. Chinese women are under intense pressure to always be respectful, to always be dutiful and to always do the right thing. Imagine telling any European or North American woman that she had to remain obedient to the men in her life, for the rest of her life? Now, couple that ancient cultural tradition with the modern fact that all Chinese men are only children and most were spoiled rotten their entire life. In fact, they were spoiled so completely that they are called the Little Emperors and have been studied at length. But it goes much deeper than that. What you get is a lot of young men who are not great husband material, not by modern standards.
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Chinese women who have grown up watching Western movies and television are often horrified with Chinese men. Young Chinese men have notorious reputations for a variety of self-destructive behaviors from internet gaming addiction to alcoholism to a recent explosion in the sale of lifelike sex robots to replace real women. For many men, these mechanical ladies are just less trouble than a real girlfriend. They follow orders exactly and they are eternally young and beautiful. According to some. You can see why a lot of beautiful, talented Chinese women would not take too kindly to this trend. In fact, they have coined a term for it: straight man cancer. Straight man cancer is something like male chauvinist pig, but with an Asian twist. It is a backlash against young men, all doted on as Little Emperors, who expect their wife or girlfriend to dote on them like mommy and daddy did. They expect absolute obedience from their wives and girlfriends. So, many Chinese women have looked towards Western men, particularly the most beautiful and educated women.The paper explained, Western men are thought to be well-educated, easy-going, humorous, polite, confident and independent. Compared to so many Chinese guys afflicted with straight man cancer these dudes sound amazing to many women across China. But it gets even better and the article, which sounds as if it was written by an angry Chinese man offers a deeper explanation. It explains that:. They supposedly pay attention to their appearance, like clothing and hairstyle. They supposedly shower and change their underwear every day. They are supposedly considerate to women, romantic, and good in bed. Yes, even needing a shower and a trip to the laundry there are women who want to marry them, but unbelievably, even with the shortage of women, some women remain unmarried. Chinese women are faced with an array of mixed messages. The communist ethos was that it is the duty of every citizen to maximize their natural talents to forward the power, welfare, and reputation of the Communist Party, the Chinese people, their families, and themselves more or less in that order. They are pushed to excel at school, and in sports. Being beautiful is highly prized and child beauty contests are huge. Nearly all Chinese girls play an instrument or two. Many learn a foreign language, though Chinglish is usually the result. Then these smart, driven young ladies go off to technical school or university or in the case of poor girls into a factory and they work incredibly hard to make their parents proud.
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The smartest, most driven, and luckiest succeed and they do great in school or get a slew of promotions and are soon off the factory floor and into management. They are doing great for themselves, but if they are not careful this leads to problems. Perhaps if she is in a field that does not pay well, but if she makes more money then him that is a gigantic turnoff. She is brilliant and hardworking and she graduates from Yale University. By the time she returns to China at 24 or 25 years old, she will be considered an old maid. So, our hypothetical young woman she has to dumb herself down for Chinese men if she wants a shot at getting married. That sounds like the plot for a bad romantic comedy, but here is an article about just such a Chinese woman who is simply too amazing for Chinese men. In fact, in China, they have a term for it: Sheng Nu. And our hypothetical graduate of Harvard Business School has even bigger problems. First, she is financially successful in a way and that is a huge turnoff. But she is also hot and believes it or not that is a problem too. Of course, Chinese men love beautiful women. In fact, beauty is often a great advantage in the job market, because Chinese companies still hire bluntly on looks for some jobs. In dating it is more complicated. If a woman is too beautiful it is another power dynamic that a lot of the most spoiled guys are not confident enough to handle. Some women become so desperate that they will routinely hire fake boyfriends to present to their family at key events, especially during the Chinese New Year. No Chinese man under the age of 50 will show any interest in them and even that is rare because nothing upsets a year-old Chinese man more than learning his widowed father is about to remarry and possibly muddy his inheritance. They are fully capable of thinking for themselves.They are not submissive women — not really — but they do want to help their husbands because that is what Chinese wives do. What you mistake for submissiveness is actually a person who was brought up to respect her parents and other people in her life. When you start considering Chinese Women for marriage remember these women want to be respected. Chinese men romance them, but Chinese men have a hard time showing the sort of respect they really want. They will judge you on nothing more than your income, and how much of that you want to spend on them. These are a lot rarer than Little Emperors, because of the differences in how boys and girls are raised, but it can happen. You will probably know when you meet one though because she will be obsessed with fashion, celebrity, and bling just like so many Western girls. They want to experience the love and romance idealized in Western movies, which is a little bit naive on their part. But then again the other choice is to put up with a Chinese husband who wants to control every aspect of her life, including where she works and what she does for a living. So what Chinese women want in a guy is love, romance and to be treated as an equal in the relationship. It is the most common search term for international dating online. Usually, in the Old West, it meant paying for a train ticket and other travel expenses after exchanging letters. You cannot buy a bride. You cannot open a catalog, pick a bride and then have her turn up on your doorstep. That is just one of the ridiculous pieces of misinformation that about international dating that abound online. The Chinese government has cracked down heavily on all forms of mail order bride catalog businesses, so they no longer exist. Breaking the law in China is a different deal to breaking the law in other countries — it can literally cost your life. The Yin and Yang balance achieved without really trying. In fact — and you might not like hearing this — the vast majority of hot Chinese women you find on dating sites probably earn more than you, or are entirely capable of doing so.
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