Sometimes you're texting a guy you like or you're out on a first date, and for some reason, your mind just goes blank. You have no idea what to say next or what questions to ask. It happens to the best of us! If you need a little inspiration, here's how to be a sparkling conversationalist, both in person and over text, as well as a bunch of questions to ask a guy or anyone the next time you're stuck. Need some more inspo for questions to ask? Consider checking out the infamous 36 questions to fall in love or this couples' quiz. Whether you're on a date or just talking to the cute guy you always see in the elevator, the key to keeping a conversation going is to ask thoughtful follow-up questions. So, when someone tells you something—anything—listen intently, and then respond with a question that elicits a deeper explanation about what they just shared. For example, if someone mentions they love the summer, ask what they love about it. If they tell you they're having a rough week, ask why that is. If someone mentions they've been playing video games all day, ask what game they're playing and what's so fun about it.
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You can even go a level deeper: Do they consider themselves a serious gamer or a casual gamer? What's the first game they couldn't stop playing? If you find the conversation comes to a lull, or you're just trying to strike up some interesting conversation , here are some ideas for questions to ask a guy or anyone you're interested in. Kelly Gonsalves is a multi-certified sex educator and relationship coach helping people figure out how to create dating and sex lives that actually feel good — more open, more optimistic, and more pleasurable. With her warm, playful approach to coaching and facilitation, Kelly creates refreshingly candid spaces for processing and healing challenges around dating, sexuality, identity, body image, and relationships. She believes relationships should be easy—and that, with room for self-reflection and the right toolkit, they can be. You can stay in the loop about her latest programs, gatherings, and other projects through her newsletter: kellygonsalves. Skip to Content. Login Login. This ad is displayed using third party content and we do not control its accessibility features. Close Banner. Author: Kelly Gonsalves. By Kelly Gonsalves. Kelly Gonsalves is a sex educator, relationship coach, and journalist. She received her journalism degree from Northwestern University, and her writings on sex, relationships, identity, and wellness have appeared at The Cut, Vice, Teen Vogue, Cosmopolitan, and elsewhere.Questions for the first date. Great relationships start with great sleep. Questions to ask on the first date. Do you like your job? How did you end up in your current line of work? What personal goals are you working toward right now? Do you enjoy dating? What are you looking for from dating right now? What do you look for in a partner? For you, what does it mean to be in a relationship? Why did your last relationship end? What's your love language? What are your relationship deal-breakers? What's a topic or hobby you're randomly passionate about? What's a social issue you're very passionate about? Are you engaged with politics?
Want To Turn Your Dating App Match Into An Actual Date? Try This
Are you religious? How has the pandemic affected you personally? Video dates: yes or no? What do you prefer: texting or phone calls? What's your approach to defining the relationship? Thought-provoking questions to ask a guy. What does it mean when you say "I love you" to someone? Do you believe in the concept of soul mates? Is jealousy healthy in a relationship? Is lying ever OK? Is cheating ever OK? Have you ever cheated on someone before? Why did you do it—and do you regret it? Do you want to be more or less like your parents? What do you wish you had more of in your life right now? What do you wish you had less of in your life right now? When was the last time you cried?Do you talk about your feelings often? Why or why not? Who do you feel most comfortable talking about your feelings with in your life? Who do you feel least comfortable doing that with? What would you be doing if money wasn't a concern? What are your thoughts on porn? What do you want to be remembered for after you die? What's more important: science or art? What's your relationship to your gender? What does masculinity or being a man mean to you? What gender stereotype do you wish the world would let go of? What does friendship mean to you? What's the meaning of life? Funny questions. Do you have any go-to flirting techniques or moves? What's your favorite pickup line? Who's your celeb crush? Who was your celeb crush as a teenager? Who was your first crush, and did you tell them?
https://d12jofbmgge65s.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2023/03/how-to-talk-to-teens-about-dating-05.pngDo You and Your Man Actually Talk on the Phone? Not Text, Talk.
Who would you want to play you in a movie? If you had to give up one for the rest of your life, which would you pick: cheese or chocolate? Cat person or dog person? Would you survive a zombie apocalypse? Would you survive being stranded on a deserted island? What's your favorite conspiracy theory? What reality TV show would you be on? What's your most annoying habit? What's the most embarrassing thing in your search history? Is water wet? What's the most useless talent you have? Do you brush your teeth before or after breakfast? The toilet isn't working at someone else's house. What do you do? What's something trivial that you always lie about?Dirty questions. Have you ever fantasized about me? What's an unusual thing that turns you on? How do you define good sex? What's your dirtiest fantasy? Wildest sex story? Boobs or booty? Do you like it when a girl makes the first move? When did you first have sex? How did it go? What's on your sexual bucket list? Lights on or off?
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Favorite sex position? Fast and hard or slow and gentle? Do you like anal? What do you like better: oral or intercourse? Have you ever hooked up with someone of another gender? What's the hottest memory you have of us? What would you like to do to me tonight? Questions to ask a guy on a dating app. What's the most interesting thing that happened to you this week? What's a problem you're working through right now? How are you feeling these days, really? What sticks out to you in a dating profile? What do you think about dating apps?Any funny stories about people you've met from a dating app? What's the worst date you've ever been on? What's the best date you've ever been on? What's your ideal first date? What's something you're randomly extremely into? What's your astrology sign, and do you think it's accurate? What's the most interesting thing you've read recently? What's your latest controversial hot take? What's on your mind right now? Do you want to meet up? Questions to get to know someone better. What was your childhood like? What's your relationship with your parents? What were you like in high school? What's your relationship to religion? Are you a spiritual person? How long does it take you to open up to someone?
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What's your attachment style? What parts of yourself are you working on right now? Do you want kids? How do you deal with conflict in relationships? What was your last big fight about? Do you have any big regrets in life? Have you ever been in love? Have you ever done anything illegal? What do you want to do in retirement? What's your favorite part of your typical day? What does self-care look like for you? What's a question you wish more people asked you? How to ask questions that keep the conversation going. Summary If someone tells you something, listen intently, and then respond with a question that elicits a deeper explanation about what they just shared. When my partner and I first started dating, we spoke to each other all day, every day. Sometimes he would even make me elaborate images using emojis when the conversation started to taper off.Communication is the foundation of pretty much any strong relationship, after all — but unfortunately, talking to your boo too often can be unhealthy. According to Dr. Gary Brown , a prominent couples' therapist in Los Angeles, your daily texting pattern really depends on what works for you and your partner. How often should you talk to your boyfriend in person? How often should you text your girlfriend? Should couples talk every day? According to Gordon, texting at least four times a week is healthy, but at least once every day is ideal. Winter says this is especially true of contact with your partner, and that a break in your communication pattern is a known red flag. Keeping the connection going keeps the spark alive. But too much texting makes it less necessary and more difficult to connect with others throughout the day. Or, you can say that you'd like to catch up in person, because when you are apart you are often too busy with other things to text all day. A little, 'Have a great day cutie! Oh, and if you get a chance, Brown recommends swapping out your texts for a good old-fashioned phone call sometimes. No amount of texting can replace hearing your loved one's voice. Gary Brown , couples' therapist. Susan Winter , relationship expert. Nicole Richardson , licensed marriage and family therapist.
Talking To Your Partner Every Day Could Be Hurting Your Relationship
This article was originally published on Updated: April 28, Originally Published: July 3, Search Close. When you first get together with someone, it might feel really great to talk to the person you're dating every day. Swept away by new feelings and the newness of partnership, you want to stay connected to affirm your feelings for each other. For instance, should you text every day when dating? Talking to one another constantly can also isolate you from the outside world when conversations you might otherwise have had with friends or family members all go straight to your partner instead. In a healthy relationship , your other relationships don't suffer. Figuring out how often you should talk when you first start dating is important so you can establish your expectations and set boundaries early on. The best relationships give you the space to nurture other aspects of your life. Having personal space and boundaries allows you to maintain the other relationships and activities that make you happy, and prevents you from relying on your partner to solely carry that responsibility, she explains.
It's actually meaningful and productive for you to take a step back from the relationship when you're apart. And when you're on your own, you can connect with yourself. Taking that time apart can also help prevent you both from feeling smothered , as Julie Spira , dating coach and founder of CyberDatingExpert. There's no comparison to connecting in person, face-to-face. A balanced relationship allows you to move through life separately and then return to each other. If you feel like you should text everyday when dating, consider whether all that talking could be building codependency in your relationship. The one with power cultivates unhealthy qualities and the subordinate person erodes his or her dignity and self-esteem. When you're in the honeymoon phase of your relationship, it's natural to want to spend every moment either with or talking to your partner. But it may lead to the end of this sweet period sooner than it naturally would. It's not just that the novelty of talking all the time will wear off, but the quality of your conversations can suffer, says Spira. It also puts a lot of pressure on someone who might be busy to call you every day. When this happens, phone calls can end up becoming boring rinse-and-repeat check-in conversations to report on your entire day's to-do list," she explains. An important part of dating someone new is getting to know them and finding out if they're the right person for you. While talking every day is great for the former, it can hinder the latter since it doesn't provide you with the time and space to reflect on your connection. If you're not sure how you feel about someone, too much communication could be to blame, explains Hoffman. Take note of how it feels to speak less and whether it makes you miss them, or it feels like a relief. Sometimes healthy communication means communicating a little bit less, along with being honest about that with yourself and with your partner. Julie Spira , dating coach and founder of CyberDatingExpert. This article was originally published on Updated: June 3,
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