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For most people in relationships, a commitment means no playing around, ever. That doesn't mean there aren't plenty of love rats out there. About one in five adults in monogamous relationships, or 22 percent, have cheated on their current partner. The rate iseven higher among married men. And nearly half of people admit to being unfaithful at some point in their lives, according to the results of the MSNBC. More than 70, adults completed the online reader survey in February, answering about 30 questions that revealed their intimate feelings about adultery and what makes them stray or stay faithful. About three-quarters of the survey takers say they've made a monogamous commitment, with a majority either married or remarried. But a significant portion found it easier to make that promise than keep it. In fact, married folks with kids — including women with very young children — are nearly as likely to commit adultery as childless couples. The bright side is, while many of us are tempted by the fruit of another, it seems we fear cheating more than we need. We're bombarded with images of infidelity in popular culture and the news, so it's no surprise we think it's a world of callous cads and desperate housewives. Survey takers guessed that twice as many people are having extramarital affairs as really are, estimating that 44 percent of married men and 36 percent of married women are unfaithful. The reality is it's not as rampant as we think, with 28 percent of married men and 18 percent of married women admitting to having a sexual liaison, the survey found. In fact, the rate of cheating has stayed pretty consistent, according to research expert Tom W.

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The study found that 22 percent of married men and 15 percent of married women have cheated at least once — similar to the results from the MSNBC. Still, much of this depends on your definition of cheating. Nearly everybody considers sexual intercourse or oral sex to be cheating, but there are some other behaviors that fall into grayer areas. Nearly 20 percent of survey takers in committed relationships have romantically kissed someone else, a breach that 83 percent of people consider to be cheating. And 15 percent of men though only 7 percent of women have engaged in online sex or sexual Webcamming, which 66 percent of people consider to be cheating. Blind to the affair Ironically, while we tend to overestimate cheating in society, we are often blind to it in our own lives. If your partner is cheating, chances are, you have no idea. Six in 10 cheaters believe they totally got away with their affair and another one in 10 felt their partner was suspicious, but never found out for sure. Few cheaters — only 2 percent — were busted in the act. And even when confronted with a partner's suspicions, only 6 percent of both men and women confessed to having an affair.

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The survey did find some common scenarios, however. Cheating tends to happen well into the relationship — especially in the three- to five-year zone — by a man who is dissatisfied with his sex life or a woman who feels emotionally deprived. The new lover is most often a friend or co-worker, and the typical fling lasts less than a week. Indeed, having kids is no deterrent. According to the survey, 15 percent of women and 16 percent of men with children ages 2 to 5 years had an affair. An unexpected 7 percent of women and 9 percent of men cheated while there was a baby under the age of 2 in the home. For men with money, infidelity is just another perk. Wealth isn't much of a factor in women's cheating. The thrill of the forbidden? Many thrive on the excitement they get from a fling 30 percent overall , but men and women are generally prowling for different things. Men want more sex 44 percent , more satisfying sex 38 percent and variety 40 percent , findings that closely resemble the MSNBC. Women's motives range from the need for more emotional attention 40 percent to being reassured of their desirability 33 percent or falling in love with someone else 20 percent. A gender split between sexual and emotional drivers can also be seen in attitudes toward wandering partners. It's not all about mushiness for ladies — one in five who cheated said they were looking for more satisfying sex than they were getting from their primary partner. Actions aside, 71 percent of people say it's never OK to be unfaithful. Yet, one in four men and one in 10 women think cheating is justified if a partner has no interest in sex. For many "it was a life experience, or a daring adventure," says Lever, the survey's lead researcher. But many did face lingering feelings of sadness 25 percent , stress 32 percent and guilt 49 percent. A year-old woman who has been on the receiving end of such a betrayal agrees.

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Many cheat for a thrill, more stay true for love

Love keeps us true What about the true blue among us? What motivates those who stay faithful? For the most part, love does keep people faithful. While 68percent of men in a monogamous relationship say they've desired someone else and 43 percent of women have had the hots for another person, they're not lighting their fires with someone else's match. More than three-quarters of participants say they are too much in love to be unfaithful and 68 percent don't want to risk losing their partner. Love of one's partner was also one of the main reasons why people stopped cheating 20 percent. Even among couples that have been together for more than 30 years, four-fifths of women and two-thirds of men report being faithful during the entire relationship. For some, remaining faithful is the ultimate symbol of dedication. IE 11 is not supported. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. NBC News Logo. Israel-Hamas war Politics U. Search Search.Profile My News Sign Out. Sign In Create your free profile. Sections Meet the Press U. Follow NBC News. By By Jane Weaver. By Jane Weaver. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings , which can also be found in the footer of the site. Studies show that the infidelity gender gap is narrowing. Although social norms and Hollywood portrayals often depict men as the sex more likely to cheat , studies show that the infidelity gender gap is narrowing—especially among younger people. Take, for instance, a research study out of The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, which found that among participants with an average age of 31, "there were no significant gender differences in the report of infidelity 23 percent of men vs. Further data out of the GSS showed that the percentage of women who cheat rose nearly 40 percent from to while men's adultery rate held steady at 21 percent. Here, we explore why women cheat —including the most common driving forces behind infidelity—and advice that could help you avoid the unfortunate experience in your own relationship. Some attribute the more recent uptick in women cheating to the increased responsibilities and therefore increased needs and wants of the modern woman. Empowered by feminist viewpoints and financial freedom, women are less likely to compromise—and better positioned to seek out the emotional and sexual gratification that's missing in their relationship.

12 Reasons Why Women Cheat, According to the Experts

Ed, LMFT. Before, marriage was a vehicle to raise your family and be taken care of financially. Now, we expect happiness, good sex , best friends, and more out of it. We have put a lot of pressure on marriage when it wasn't originally designed to meet all your needs. Meet the Expert. The question still remains: What factors drive a woman to cheat? Here, the experts share 12 common reasons why women cheat and their thoughts on each. This can be seen as the underlying theme of the majority of motivations for infidelity. Dissatisfaction, explains Skurtu, is where it starts. It's completely innocent. For every relationship boundary crossed, the person has to justify their behavior to themselves first, then they are able to compartmentalize the actions.

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Not finding satisfaction in a current relationship can trigger someone to seek that satisfaction elsewhere or even use the act of cheating whether consciously or unconsciously as a catalyst to end their current relationship. Often, both partners knew about the gaps, says Skurtu. When a woman is struggling with low self-worth, it may spur them to look to external sources for the attention and validation that they and their partner are unable to create and sustain. A woman who cheats may rely on affairs to provide them with proof of their value or desirability. When one fling ends, it may cause them to feel neglected or worthless, so they pursue a new romantic interest—and the cycle continues. While studies suggest that men who cheat are primarily motivated by sex, women who cheat tend to do so to fill an emotional need. And in the case of an emotional affair , sex isn't part of the equation at all. Whether the affair is physical or emotional in nature, a woman may cheat because they crave conversation, empathy, respect, devotion, adoration, support, or some other connection that's lacking in their current relationship. However, most sexual ones start emotional," says Skurtu "I find it pretty rare to have an only sexual affair without some emotions because they usually start as friends. That's how you start crossing boundaries and justify the behavior. Some women enter into a relationship with an idealized image of how their spouse should behave. When the partner falls short of expectations and can't meet their every need and desire, it can create a divide in the relationship that provides the impetus to stray. Some women may resent their partner for another reason, such as a partner's past affair, and use their own infidelity as retaliation. You've likely heard of the term serial cheaters—people who cheat for the thrill of it. They may love their significant other but yearn for those endorphin-fueled interactions that make a new relationship so exciting. It's addressing the same thing: boredom.

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I feel people are more likely to cheat than to get involved in crimes, but it's the same premise. In fact, a study at the affair dating website AshleyMadison. Try as we might to keep the spark alive , the excitement that accompanies a new relationship only lasts so long. Predictability and familiarity will eventually overtake the quality and frequency of sex. It's not surprising, then, that some women who cheat are missing those thrilling hallmarks of a relationship's beginning stages, when passion and intrigue have yet to give way to routine. In fact, Skurtu believes this is historically one of the motivators behind male-centric infidelity: "It might have been an expectation that at a certain point, sex was not a big part of marriage so cheating was a necessary evil. A woman who cheats may have a partner who works long hours, leaving them home with the kids all day. Perhaps they've found themselves in a stage in life when it's harder to make friends or maybe their significant other is contending with a chronic illness. Whatever the reason, loneliness or feelings of isolation and disengagement can "provide the perfect ingredients for an affair," says Skurtu. Attachment theory suggests that early childhood relationships influence how we perceive and behave in our intimate relationships as adults. Depending on the care and nurturing or lack thereof that one receives as a child, they'll fall into one of three attachment styles as adults: secure having well-adjusted expectations and approaches to relationships , anxious exhibiting fear of abandonment , or avoidant preferring to retain their independence from others. People who identify with anxious and avoidant attachment styles are more likely to display characteristics that interfere with a healthy romantic relationship think clinginess and dismissiveness. Moreover, they're more likely to cheat, as they seek out reassurance from a third-party partner or attempt to avoid the intimacy of the primary relationship. While midlife crises generally affect people between the ages of 35 and 60, the event has less to do with age than extenuating circumstances. Major life events, such as the death of a parent or a milestone birthday, may trigger a midlife crisis in a woman, causing them to wrestle with the burden of greatness; that is, the sociocultural expectation that women can and should "have it all"—a successful career, a loving partner, adoring children, and so on. What am I doing with my life? A woman may act out of character as she attempts to realize her potential and make up for lost time. According to Block, depression and infidelity go hand in hand. In other words, a woman who cheats could be self-medicating through their infidelity, even if they don't realize the true reason behind their pleasure.Few acts of infidelity are premeditated, asserts Skurtu, but rather a result of an unexpected opportunity. They start commiserating and then it moves on from there," she adds. People in this situation usually can't explain the reason behind their infidelity. Similar opportunities exist in the digital realm, too. Social media , dating apps, and texting have revolutionized the ease at which we can connect with others, sometimes serving as a springboard for affairs —even if the interactions start innocently. People can develop a wide variety of coping mechanisms to deal with difficult emotions , sometimes choosing strategies that have emotionally numbing effects as an easier option than facing them. Sex, drugs, alcohol, and other addictions or compulsive behaviors are just a few examples. The first way to proceed here is raw honesty between the partners about what they want and need to be happy," says Skurtu. While cheating is never warranted in a relationship—it's always best to end your partnership before picking one up with another person—it's helpful to understand the reasons why women may engage in infidelity. Generally speaking, the most common reasons why women cheat all link back to something missing in a relationship, so prioritizing your connection and ensuring you both are getting what you need from the partnership is key. Infidelity in heterosexual couples: demographic, interpersonal, and personality-related predictors of extradyadic sex. Arch Sex Behav. ORC at the University of Chicago. The General Social Survey ,. Temas Psicol. Middle-aged women missing passion and sex seek affairs, not divorce. Updated Aug.

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The risky business of marital infidelity

Psychology Today. Updated Nov. Attachment insecurity and infidelity in marriage: do studies of dating relationships really inform us about marriage? J Fam Psychol. Subscribe Email Address Subscribe. Thank you [email] for signing up. Please enter a valid email address. Email Address Subscribe. By Cathy Meyer. Cathy Meyer.Cathy Meyer is a certified divorce coach, marriage educator, freelance writer, and founding editor of DivorcedMoms. As a divorce mediator, she provides clients with strategies and resources that enable them to power through a time of adversity. Brides's Editorial Guidelines. Reviewed by Landis Bejar. Meet the Expert Angela Skurtu M. Dissatisfaction in Relationship This can be seen as the underlying theme of the majority of motivations for infidelity. Low Self-Esteem When a woman is struggling with low self-worth, it may spur them to look to external sources for the attention and validation that they and their partner are unable to create and sustain. Emotional Starvation While studies suggest that men who cheat are primarily motivated by sex, women who cheat tend to do so to fill an emotional need. Anger or Retribution Some women enter into a relationship with an idealized image of how their spouse should behave. Lack of Excitement You've likely heard of the term serial cheaters—people who cheat for the thrill of it. Sexual Deprivation Try as we might to keep the spark alive , the excitement that accompanies a new relationship only lasts so long.

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Loneliness A woman who cheats may have a partner who works long hours, leaving them home with the kids all day. Insecure Attachment Style Attachment theory suggests that early childhood relationships influence how we perceive and behave in our intimate relationships as adults. Midlife Crisis While midlife crises generally affect people between the ages of 35 and 60, the event has less to do with age than extenuating circumstances. An Underlying Condition According to Block, depression and infidelity go hand in hand. Opportunity Few acts of infidelity are premeditated, asserts Skurtu, but rather a result of an unexpected opportunity. Numbing Difficult Feelings People can develop a wide variety of coping mechanisms to deal with difficult emotions , sometimes choosing strategies that have emotionally numbing effects as an easier option than facing them. Article Sources. Brides takes every opportunity to use high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial guidelines to learn more about how we keep our content accurate, reliable and trustworthy. Related Stories. Having vulnerability and being powerful I'm not in a power situation in this dynamic at all. Cohen promised Ubah they would be able to touch on the subject at a later time in the reunion and moved on to ask Erin about where she stood in her friendship with Sai de Silva. The influencer, 42, interrupted and claimed that Erin was a liar. We were there to have a good time. I was the only person eating the cheese, actually.Stop insinuating this story that I'm a rude person who came to your house and complained. I think she's polite. She's elegant. I think she gaslights. She revealed that the couple hadn't been intimate for a year and a half after welcoming twins following an intense four-year journey with IVF. Erin and Sai grew suspicious of his motives, implying that he was going on a trip for other reasons. Did you watch it with a fing blindfold over your face? I shouldn't comment on anyone's marriage but my own. From the outside looking in, it just doesn't feel like you have a connection, but that is your relationship and I can't justify your relationship at all. It's OK to have these struggles. It's normal. ET on Bravo. When you visit the site, Dotdash Meredith and its partners may store or retrieve information on your browser, mostly in the form of cookies. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. You can find out more about our use, change your default settings, and withdraw your consent at any time with effect for the future by visiting Cookies Settings , which can also be found in the footer of the site. Entertainment TV. By Esther Kang. Esther Kang. People Editorial Guidelines. Trending Videos.

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