Dating Chinese Girl Reddit

A decade ago, my plans for coming to China included teaching for a year, two Dating was not part of my plan, so when it happened, I was completely unprepared for it. Looking back, I would have loved to know what I was getting myself into or at least some advice on navigating Chinese dating culture. Both talk about their relationships with their Chinese significant others. Chinese guys, with pressure from their parents and coming from a different culture of dating, by-and-large date to marry. So much so, that my husband didn't ask to date me, he asked me to be with him for the rest of his life. Compared to most of their Western counterparts, Chinese men start thinking about marriage much earlier in the relationship. So, if you're dating a Chinese guy, make sure to figure out what the both of you want out of the relationship so you can manage expectations. I've heard stories from second-hand sources about Chinese women wanting to date to get better at English or get a green card. All of the Chinese women that have married Western men that I know of have returned to his home country soon after the wedding. They just seem to be more open to the idea of leaving. Read more about what Chinese women love about Western guys. In contrast though, Chinese guys who date Western women, tend to stay in China. Part of this comes from their obligation to care for their aging parents and grandparents.

Are Chinese girls ‘easy’? And other thoughts on cross-cultural dating

Also it's easier for them to continue their career here, especially if they're older and already established in their career. As for free English lessons, although my husband and I only communicate in English, I know of several couples who speak Chinese because their boyfriend or husband doesn't speak a word of it. With filial piety being taught in school from first-grade on, I've found that Chinese adults take their parents' word very seriously. Jocelyn's now father-in-law told his son that he was welcome to be friends with a Western woman but not to date her. This must have been a huge letdown for him, but fortunately love won out. My husband's parents are always telling us what to do, not to do, how to do such-and-such properly and how to raise the kids. Presumably, you meet your boyfriend while you're both in the same city as most couples do, but a large number of Chinese couples live and work in different cities. My sister-in-law and her husband spent their whole time dating and the first four years of their marriage living in different cities, countries even, due to work. At least half of the kids I tutor only see their dad once a year because of this. The opportunity to earn more money is often more lucrative than staying at home. I didn't realize just how common this is when we were dating and I got lucky and found a guy that likes to stay close to home. The two times he's been given the option to go to Inner Mongolia, and triple his income, he's turned it down. When it comes to dating Western women, we've noticed that Chinese guys tend to be shy and insecure. In a post on her blog, Speaking Of China, Jocelyn recalls the story of a Chinese taxi driver telling her that he couldn't satisfy the needs of foreign women in a previous relationship. Another insecurity is money. Chinese people tend to think Americans are rich and can't provide for us on their smaller salary. Compared to the way my husband grew up in post-Cultural Revolution China, the modest home I grew up in is a mansion. He always paid on dates, but when he had the opportunity to get his research published in some professional journals and couldn't afford the fee, he was very hesitant to accept the money from me. Jocelyn said that the guys that she's dated haven't come out directly to express their intent.They're slow and spend a lot of time texting and talking to show their interest in you. Physical intimacy comes pretty slowly if the guys are serious about dating. My husband and I didn't even hold hands until our fifth or sixth date, and our first kiss was several dates after that. Although Hollywood's portrayal of us American women is taken by Chinese to mean that we're all "open minded" meaning you have a list of past relationships that numbers in the double digits or are open to one-night stands the guys worth pursing a relationship with will respect your boundaries if you're clear and upfront with them. One of the first things I noticed about the younger guys in China are that they almost always carry their girlfriend's purse. It's kind of strange to get used to seeing so many guys with designer handbags on their arms, but they appear to do it willingly. When I asked my husband about it, he said he's never noticed. From my observations, this occurs among the somethings and ceases--as does hand-holding--after the couple has a baby. I've never asked my husband to carry my purse but do appreciate that he still holds my hand, even after two kids. That's about it for insights on dating Chinese guys! This article isn't going to prepare you one hundred percent for the Chinese dating scene, but these are some things I'd been aware of when I first started dating my husband. Were there any unexpected things in this article you weren't aware of? Have you had any experience dating a Chinese person? Share with us your experiences in the comments! Here are some of our insights about dating Chinese guys: 1. They date for marriage Chinese guys, with pressure from their parents and coming from a different culture of dating, by-and-large date to marry.

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What to Expect When Dating a Chinese Guy

I guess that was his marriage proposal! Most don't care about green cards or free English lessons I've heard stories from second-hand sources about Chinese women wanting to date to get better at English or get a green card. They take their parents' word seriously With filial piety being taught in school from first-grade on, I've found that Chinese adults take their parents' word very seriously. I try to listen out of respect, then choose whether or not I'll follow what they say. They're okay with living apart Presumably, you meet your boyfriend while you're both in the same city as most couples do, but a large number of Chinese couples live and work in different cities. They can be shy and insecure When it comes to dating Western women, we've noticed that Chinese guys tend to be shy and insecure. They take relationships slowly Jocelyn said that the guys that she's dated haven't come out directly to express their intent. They carry your purse One of the first things I noticed about the younger guys in China are that they almost always carry their girlfriend's purse. Strictly observational, but very interesting. Newsletter Like this article? Signup for email notifications of new blog posts, sales and other helpful Chinese learning tips!

The world seen through the eyes of a life-long nomad

What Is Pinyin? An Introduction to the Tones. The 1st and 2nd Tones. Numbers The Ultimate Guide to Colors in Chinese. Your Guide to Articles of Clothing in Chinese. Why do non-Chinese people feel that Chinese is difficult to learn? Frequently Asked Questions About Chinese. Get started. Dating dynamics are always interesting to observe, especially the variances in how different cultures or people in different locations perceive certain behaviors or unwritten rules.

‘Racist’ Woman Refuses to Marry Boyfriend Because He’s Asian, Only Dating Him for ‘Expensive’ Gifts

This was a subject that interested me because it has come up in many personal discussions with friends both in and out of China and of varying cultural backgrounds. I had a lunchtime discussion with another self-media personality — someone intimately engaged in the world of Chinese social media — on the cultural weight and importance of this topic. For example, in the summer of , one story that ignited heated debate was when a Spanish man was filmed having sex with a Chinese woman in Chengdu. The page has been visited more than 7 million times. It sometimes feels like the fact that an interracial relationship can exist at all is a reason for anger. Most people are at least superficially aware of the stereotypes associated with Chinese men and women. It seems to me that society is still wrangling with stereotypes and perceptions, and figuring out what the proper response should be. I am not sure how much my content has contributed to a productive discussion, but what is most important is that conversation can continue in an objective, rational, and maybe helpful way. Victor Zheng is a Chinese-American who grew up Virginia. In China, he has acted in web series, produced videos , and appeared on reality shows. He hopes to use his experiences and media influence to strengthen mutual understanding between China and the rest of the world, whether that be through conversations at the gym or by dancing on Chinese television. Victor currently resides in Beijing. Read more. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website.

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When Asian Women Are Harassed for Marrying Non-Asian Men

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Dating a Chinese Girl: Your Ultimate Guide 2020

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Dating much older woman reddit

Japan is an insular society with a heavy cultural emphasis on conformity. Then there is language. Japanese language is extremely high context, and the level of mastery you need for a healthy, fulfilling relationship goes far beyond what you need with friends or for business. Just that it tends to require a lot more empathy and patience than dating someone from the same culture. It really depends on the person, but there are a few things that I now make sure to look out for at the beginning of our relationship. The first is about having friends of the opposite sex. She expected me to ask permission to hang out with them, and would only give it begrudgingly. Now I know. The second is expectations about leaving Japan. In contrast, places like my home country of Switzerland are portrayed by the Japanese media as being akin to heaven on Earth. Your average Swiss is shown as happily frolicking down mountainsides holding cute woven baskets filled with gruyere and baguettes. Naturally, people who feel exhausted with their lives in Japan figure the grass must be greener at the chalet.Usually you can tell when during the first few dates, your romantic interest asks you how long before you plan to go home, and how wonderful it must be to live abroad. Third is expectations about marriage and family. While the gap is not as wide as in other Asian countries, there is still more social pressure in Japan for women to get married and have children than there is in most Western cultures. Standards of beauty in Japan are completely alien to me. Except perhaps being skeptical if, on your first or second date, Madame is already raving how beautiful your children would look. Within the category of Japanese women who will date foreigners, there resides a fairly sizable sub-category of women who will only date foreigners. On the flip side, there are also plenty of foreign men who will take advantage of Japanese women to get free Japanese language lessons. Another thing is because of the way Western culture is portrayed in Japanese media, some women have an idealistic perception of Western manners. They may even think all Western men behave like stereotypical characters from American romantic comedies: attentive and caring to the point of creepiness, as well as prone to grandiose romantic gestures. For the less romantically inclined, just be aware that the way the average Japanese person perceives you is very different from back home, and you may have to answer to those stereotypes. Some Japanese people think gaijin hunters hate Japanese men, or are an insult to Japanese culture. Your girlfriend may get criticism for dating you instead of a Japanese boy. And finally, some ladies see foreign men as trophies.

‘The Asian Playboy’ Has the Perfect Response to Asian Women Who Say They ‘Don’t Date Asian Men’

The same way some foreign men see Asian girlfriends as trophies. I mind when the type starts to matter more than the individual. In Japan, I see that quite often. So whoever you are, when dating in Japan, if you feel like your partner sees you as being completely interchangeable, it may be best to get out of that relationship. The process itself can be very different from the West—albeit not necessarily. Every relationship is different. First, there is the meeting. As I mentioned before, I usually bypass this step by using an app. You can also potentially meet people through friends, at bars, clubs, and so on. Many Japanese people are nervous of just meeting one-on-one, so instead they meet two-on-two, or three-on-three. A group of single ladies will meet with a group of single men, and couples will be formed. I was also surprised by how many couples are formed within companies. Japanese employment is usually for life, so the company can be a second family.When you spend most of your time with colleagues, romance will naturally ensue. Japanese dating starts with slowly getting to know each other. Usually, there is no physical contact in the beginning—not even holding hands. Japanese couples are famously discrete, and public displays of affection are perceived as very rude. During this phase, couples tend to spend time together in fairly public places. The declaration is pretty simple: tell her how much you like her, that you would like to be boyfriend and girlfriend, and ask if she accepts. Sadly, sometimes declarations fail. If she friendzones you, tough luck. Might as well turn it into a learning experience. Now you can delete all your dating apps together and start holding hands. So many new and wonderful experiences await.

What to Expect When Dating a Chinese Guy

You are now fully equipped to enter the Japanese dating game. I wish you best of luck, and a mutually fulfilling relationship. What an interesting post! There are some similarities between dating in India and in Japan. But most of that information was fascinating. I laughed at the ball park figure of your dates. Like Liked by 1 person. Does the author, or anyone else know if there has been some scientific research done about this topic? This may seem like a ridiculous question but last year I met a Japanese guy who owns a startup company and he offered me. I was supossed to start this fall, but Corona fucked everything up of course. He still said that I would be able to come work for him once all of this is over. Therefore I have been doing some research in the last couple of months this research includes a wide range of topics like Japanese history, language, society, quality of live, etc. The problem is that there really is no good research about international relationships in Japan. All I can find are blog posts like these and they vary in experience. Therefore I would really like to know if some social scientists did a study on this with some good statistical sample size. That would be great. But not being able to date would definitely put me off.

Like Like. To my knowledge, there is no scientific research on this topic. Empirically, it would be very hard to study. Many Japanese women say they would date a foreigner, but also would only date someone with whom they can communicate seamlessly, that their family would approve of, with whom they share a lot in common… And at the end of the day, while they would date a foreigner in theory, there are too many other preconditions that preclude foreigners in practice. Any meaningful research would have to include those considerations. Thank you for answering my comment. They basically emailed a survey to German women in which they asked them if they would date foreign men and how likely it would be for them to date certain groups or nationalities, like for example Muslims, Blacks, Jews, Turkish or Polish people etc. I remember that a similar study was done in the US and the study showed that Asian men have the hardest time dating in the US. I guess that there is no interest in doing such s study for Japan because the number of foreign residents is fairly low, so scientist probably have no interest in researching it and therefore focus on more multicultural countries like Germany or the US. Those street interviews are not representative of course, because the sample size is extremely small, not randomized enough and of course not diverse not diverse meaning that they just asked young women in Tokyo, instead of asking women of different ages from all parts of Japan. Yes, I completely agree with that. Most of it probably comes down to things you already mentioned. Things like cultural differences, language barriers, different expectations etc. Reading that definitely got my spirits down a bit.

Asian Guy Seeks Advice To Date His Husband On Reddit And It’s Super Adorable

Thank you again for the comment and the blogpost of course. I will probably continue reading your blog further because it looks like I can learn a thing or two about Japan from it. Not only language part but also our appearance or something. So all I want to say is we have tendency to underestimate and defense ourselves before we try. Hope you would get it…. You wanna bring science into this? Are you able to address her needs while taking care of your own needs? On the web you can often read how crazily Chinese women are into white male. However, this is definitely not true. I am white and actually pretty good looking, though, in China, I am having a really hard time dating a beautiful I am not saying any, I restrict myself to beautiful women. Therefore, if you just want to have any girlfriend, I think China is a great place. However, if you want a high quality woman … meeeeh then you better stay at home. Also, as you say in your blog post: Speaking the local language really opens up lots of more possibilities. In China most people either speak very poor English, or for the vast majority do not speak any English at all. So buy learning Chinese you will definitely vastly widen your pool of possibilities. However, keep in mind beautiful Chinese women are still and will always be out of your league. They have the same weird motives of mixed blood child and this BS and some want to leave China a lot of Chinese people are not very happy with their lives.However, since China has a population of 1. So there is less opportunities for Chinese women to catch foreigner. Or to put it differntly there is virtually no competition. Additionally, due to this stupid one child policy and the fact that still to this date women are considered as the inferior gender, men significantly outnumber the women. So there is a shortage of women especially in rural areas. However, while men tend to stay at home the women tend to move into the big cities. Therefore in cities like Shanghai and Shenzhen women outnumber men a little bit. Due to these circumstances foreigners applies only to males are considered to be stealing Chinese women while women that date a foreigner are considered inferior and therefore dating a foreigner gets a pretty bad touch. Great points all around. Same thing, he has no credibility so likely to date on the edge just like me dating in Nagoya. Of course the woman I was interested in ended up marrying a Doctor who went bald but come out of the best University in Korea Seoul University. I probably have better stories though…. This is a very interesting blog and the comments are great. I lived in Tokyo for a while and moved to Osaka for work related shit. Girls that like you for being white, black, American- these girls are the bottom of the barrel, girls that japanese guys tend to not like its no wonder they suddenly quit and turn to foreigners. These girls can become your gf through personality. You can find cute girls at this level. My best dates have been a cute girl who was in a minor idol group, and a girl who was heavy into gothic lolita fasion. Its very rare to get these kinds of girls since they are mainly into other asians.