Why Men Fail The Dating Game

When it comes to the dating game, who has it harder? Or both genders equally? If you ask a man, the majority will say it's men and if you ask a woman the same question, she's highly likely to say women. So why does each gender believe that they have it harder? I hope you enjoyed reading part 1 of this article from a female perspective. And now for the male perspective In his lates Rishi believes that women have it easier than men because the onus is on the guy to make the first move. Women do not have this pressure, or have to take the lead in the same way. What Rishi finds challenging, is working out whether a woman is interested and should he make a move, or not. He is not afraid of rejection, in fact he prefers someone to 'say it, as it is' as he gets very frustrated when a woman parts with her number and subsequently avoids phone calls, text messages, or cancels dates at the last minute. This is according to Suraj in his early 30s. He believes that women are more judgemental on a first date than men and they often analyse every single detail and perhaps make rash decisions without even giving the guy a real chance.

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Do You Treat Dating as a Game?

Suraj is a successful professional, looking for a like-minded professional Gujarati lady. The pressure is further exacerbated when he has to make a call on chivalrous acts like paying bill - will his date misconstrue this act as chauvinistic? With all this going through his mind, he still has to try and keep his nerves under control, so that he can come across as his natural self and give it his best possible shot! In his mids, City professional Kam believes that men have it harder as they have to make the first move, which puts women in a position of control. He believes that in a bar for example, a number of guys may approach the same woman. However, it will be the woman who ultimately decides, which of the guys she will entertain, thereby rendering her possible suitors as powerless unless she decides otherwise. He believes that whilst men will probably look at attractiveness, intelligence and overall personality, women delve a lot dipper and look at the whole package from attractiveness to family background to financial stability. So as a guy in today's society, Ayush thinks that you really are under pressure to compete with the other men out there into to get the woman of your dreams. He feels that from the outset the 'dating pressure' is on and continues steadily until you are in a committed relationship. Anil believes it starts with making the first move and despite how nerve racking it might be for a man, he has to come across as confident to stand any chance. Assuming she says yes to a first date, the guy then has to arrange a suitable date. On a first date, most guys will base a decision on whether to ask for a second date, depending on whether they find the woman and her personality attractive. Whereas, women put men under pressure to demonstrate their levels of substance, intelligence, stability, financial security and so forth, failure to comply, a guy can kiss any chances of a second date goodbye. Assuming that further dates ensue, the guy needs to pull out his A-game to woo the woman and win her over. The more a guy likes a woman, the more pressure it becomes. For example, if a girlfriend is introduced to her boyfriend's friends and she comes across as slightly quiet or shy, this is generally considered acceptable, if not endearing. However, if a guy behaves in this manner, his manliness and suitability as a life partner come under scrutiny and criticism. For these reasons, Anil firmly holds that men definitely have it harder in the dating game. Guys, can you relate to these men? Ladies did you find this insightful, or do you think these guys are making much ado about nothing?So what's the answer to this question - who has it harder in the dating game? As men and women, we have different roles to fulfil within a relationship and with that come different expectations and pressures. So arguably the dating game is hard for both genders but in different ways. For example, Seema commented that men prefer younger women, so it's more challenging for older women but is this men's fault, or down to nature and the way that they are genetically wired? Anil remarked that women want men with financial stability, are these women being over judgemental and potentially displaying signs of being a gold digger? Or is this something that is inbred from the moment they are born as procreators and their maternal instincts crave this security. Chaya believes that men get emasculated and are not really as interested when a woman is forthcoming - do men consciously go out of their way to feel like this, or is this because despite evolving from cavemen, at their core men only feel comfortable when they are the ones in the 'hunting' role. Kam observed that despite men taking the lead and making the first move, women are the ones who remain in control. But is this really about women trying to render men powerless, or to do with their instinct of selecting a suitable partner to mate with? I guess like many things in life, there are always two-sides to a story and no definitive right, or wrong answers. It all comes down to our individual perceptions and experiences, with a mix of biology. But one thing's for sure, the dating game would be a less complex place if men understood women and women understood men — anyone up for the challenge of creating an algorithm? What are your thoughts and experiences? To comment, please fill in the box below, which you can do anonymously and let your opinions be heard - thank you. We recommend that you register your details for FREE so we can contact you about new events and offers. Bookmark us info tantriclub. Blog Who has it harder in the dating game - men or women part 2? Alpa Saujani. Name as you wish it to appear : Email will not be published : Comments:.

Why Do Men Play Mind Games? 9 Reasons and Ways to Cope

Comments Avni. I think that some of the comments mentioned above are true for most Asian women and yes they probably wont make the first move. I personally tend to make the first move. If I find someone that I am attracted to, I will go up to them and get chatting or ask them for their number. We are all grown ups and we should go for what we want. If we dont, then well, we have just missed something potentially big! My advice to the girls reading this would be to go and get asking! I think that the above article has some extremely valid points and ultimately, it is hard for both men and women in today's fast food approach to dating to find a partner. However, I think it is far harder for women, particularly in the Asian community and even more so if you are divorced. I think it is better to strive for friendships and do activities together which are fun rather than labelling the relationship. When labels are brought in then there is an unseen pressure and expectations arise along with anxiety. Just be friends and see where nature takes it. No point getting involved in pleasing one anothers ego's and ticking the right boxes as you are already starting a relationship on the wrong foot. We are expected to - approach the girl, all girls expect this. Failing on just one point on the list means you get blown out. By comparison, girls seem to have it easy, you just wait for the man to do everything, turn up and apply list! For some, it can be a long and arduous journey in which the incumbent is required to perform an almost impossible juggling act balancing: parental expectations; individual choice; religious, cultural and societal norms; modernity; tradition; issues of caste and not to forget the quest for love!When examined through the "perceptual prisma" of gender, based on our limited experience or the anecdotal evidence of others, I believe we do the debate a disservice. To cite a few, for females this may include issues of protocol which necessitate the male to "make the first move" in requesting a telephone number or simply "asking her out" on a first date. There are also the unique challenges posed by the wider demographic trend of deferring childbearing to later years. For older females, this may become a considerable obstacle coupled with the male tendency to "prefer" a "younger bride". Male frustrations may rail against unrealistic female "wish-lists" in which women want the "whole package". There are also issues of male emasculation and a loss of control when dating women in high-powered professions. Gender is not the 'tipping factor' which makes life any less difficult in finding a 'soul mate' and closing the chapter entitled 'dating-game' in the "Book of Life". Gender does however take centre-stage if there is a gross imbalance in the sex ratio as witnessed in some Indian states and attributed to female foeticide. In such cases, the male is clearly disadvantaged leading to a generation of male's destined to never find a mate. To conclude, success in the 'dating-game' is determined by a complex array of factors which are largely 'gender-neutral'. These include our physical attributes and individual personality traits which appeal to the opposite sex. Of course, we should never underestimate the role played by luck, fate or the sheer dogged determination of individuals to claim their "prize". I believe that women have it harder because each date that they go on, they are seeking husband material, whereas guys have a more laid back approach and are not necessarily assessing a woman as wife material from the word go. Also, women are more insecure; they suffer and carry the anguish of a bad date or relationship much longer than a man.

10 Reasons Why Men Fail With Women

As men, we might complain for 10 minutes, then we just get on with it. By Alpa Saujani. No record found. Copyright Tantric Club, All rights reservered. We're sorry that you are leaving us. It would be helpful if you could please assist us by letting us know why:. Estimated reading time: 13 minutes. The girls I talk to are entirely single by choice. Trying to put myself in their shoes, it makes sense. If I were a woman with my own place, my own money, a solid circle of family and friends, and maybe a pet or two, why would I want a man on top of that? Especially if said man is statistically most likely to make my life worse. Who in their right mind would sacrifice their time, energy, and potentially their career and independence for a liability? So now what?

Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?

This, in turn, is a variation of how people have chosen to handle issues regarding sexual harassment or accusations of impropriety: abdicating responsibility by avoiding interacting with women, either on a one-on-one basis or entirely. To not question your assumptions, to not investigate or address your own internal issues and, importantly, to not change your behaviors. Now while that sounds like petty nitpicking for the sake of pedantic point scoring, I bring this up for three reasons. The first is to drive home that this was a pop-sci book of the sort that you would find in airport bookstores and that the podcasts Maintenance Phase and If Books Could Kill are fond of discussing and debunking , not a scientific study. Third, Dolan misused and misunderstood the data. Rather drastically in places. So much so, in fact, that at least one part of his book had to be retracted and corrected after the error had been pointed out. But just as importantly, many of the conclusions he derives from the survey is unsupported by the actual data. His conclusion about the health benefits of marriage for men and women is, similarly, not in alignment with this declaration that women receive no health benefits from women. However, the same survey finds that single Britons also feel less secure financially and socially, and at least a third feel pressured to at least appear more fulfilled than they actually are. They also tend to be happier being single than men, in part, because they have larger and more varied networks of friends to rely on. Because these serve to confirm what you already believe, you neither questioned the data nor the conclusions but treated them as absolute proof of what you thought. Tell me: have you actually seen meaningful, reliable surveys that actually say that? Is this a case where you think you remember seeing something about it somewhere? Or did you come to this conclusion on your own? Which is equally incorrect.

15 Complaints Modern Women Have About Dating and Men in 2022

All of that is part of the intellectual laziness and a willingness to give up. Allow me to explain. What then? Well, you go back to the reasons for this state of affairs and examine those. Take inventory of yourself, look at your expectations and your own behaviors and your own lifestyle. Are you capable of cooking and cleaning without needing someone else to tell you to get it done? The same goes for not turning your partner into the center of your social universe. Emotional maturity, intelligence and greater amounts of communication — things women have been pleading for? Those are all well within your grasp. You are fully empowered to work on those now and get yourself into relationship shape. Even being a more caring, considerate and giving lover is something you can do. But being someone who can focus on connection and intimacy and pleasure without making it all about how magic your dick is, is something easily within your control. But this takes work. It takes effort. If you decide to make those changes and to work to be a better person, then you have to do it for yourself.

You do it because it makes you a better person overall. Yes, improving your chances of partnering up is a reason to start , to motivate yourself… but the reason to keep at it is because you want to be the best man you can be, period. Will you do it perfectly? Of course not. But nobody expects perfection. What they expect is effort. You make it part of your authentic, holistic self. So if you really want those beliefs to stop tearing at your soul, stop giving them validity in the first place. The cure for hopelessness is action. The treatment for despair is effort. If you want things to be better then you have to make them better. Stop taking the negative nattering of your brain weasels as gospel and especially stop taking the claims that reinforce them onboard. Stop letting laziness seep in and tell you that the best thing you can do is nothing. If you want dating advice you can take on the go, be sure to check out and if you enjoy them, please don't forget to give a review on Amazon and Goodreads. Send in your questions for Dr. NerdLove today! Thank you for your insight.