Dating In Silicon Valley

According to the Pew Research Center , the area around San Jose and Silicon Valley is top in the nation for the ratio of single men to single women. Most of those single men work in tech. For Amy Andersen, who runs the Silicon Valley-based matchmaking service Linx , that phrase rings very true. She is a matchmaker of the old school; her clients, even in the age of Tinder , are looking for love. The platinum, which offers 11 matches in 24 months, costs double that. Those are the basic membership options. They have achieved so much success professionally, and they want the same results in their personal life. Alan — not his real name — is He says the issues he faced as a man dating in Silicon Valley were twofold. Someone else comes along; you are tossed aside.

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Dating in Silicon Valley

A self-described introvert, Alan is a computer security engineer who sold his startup to a large software company. He is divorced, and tried online dating for a year or two. But there is no end to the amount of money people have here. For Judy, who moved to the west coast from New York, where she worked for Goldman Sachs, the difference has been striking. Here, men are a little intimidated to lead. Because he fears rejection. She was, however, at pains to say that this was not an all-encompassing rule. The screening for Judy and MacKenzie consisted of a series of questions: dating history; what a bad match would look like; height preferences; kids or no kids; religion or no; fussy eater or no; pets or no. The pair presented Andersen with pictures of former boyfriends, and outlined their ideal matches. The idea to become a matchmaker came to Andersen in , when she was living in Palo Alto. She spent three years doing market research, then started the business — first bulking up her portfolio with friends, then friends of friends. Linx aims to be an antidote to that. Running a matchmaking service in an area so overflowing with spectacular, even ridiculous, amounts of money has its problems. One of her opening questions, when a potential match contacts her by email, is what the minimum net worth is of any potential match. On the male side, Andersen has to weed out those looking for hookups, not serious about commitment. They can do it any night of the week. Silicon Valley: great place for startups, but not a great place for dating. Silicon Valley matchmaker helps tech's rich but 'clueless' bachelors find love. The 'cultural desert' of Silicon Valley finally gets its first serious art gallery.

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Read more. Reuse this content. Most viewed. Silicon Valley is known as the tech capital of the world, home to some of the biggest tech companies and the brightest minds in the industry. To answer the question of whether dating in Silicon Valley is difficult, the answer is both yes and no. On the one hand, Silicon Valley is a highly competitive and fast-paced environment, with many people focused on their careers and putting in long hours at work. This can make it challenging to find time for dating and building relationships. Additionally, the high cost of living in Silicon Valley can make it difficult for people to prioritize dating over other expenses. On the other hand, Silicon Valley is also a diverse and exciting place with many opportunities to meet new people. The tech industry attracts people from all over the world, creating a melting pot of cultures and perspectives. There are also many social events and activities in the area, making it easier to connect with others who share your interests. One factor that makes dating in Silicon Valley challenging is the high ratio of men to women in the tech industry. According to a study by the dating app Hinge, men outnumber women on dating apps in San Francisco by a ratio of 2 to 1. This gender imbalance can make it difficult for both men and women to find suitable partners. Another factor that can make dating in Silicon Valley challenging is the prevalence of hookup culture.

Love Stories: What I've Learned About Dating in Silicon Valley

With so many busy professionals focused on their careers, some people may be looking for more casual relationships rather than serious commitments. This can create confusion and frustration for those looking for something more long-term. Despite these challenges, there are also many advantages to dating in Silicon Valley. For one, the tech industry attracts some of the most intelligent and innovative people in the world, creating a stimulating and dynamic dating pool. Additionally, the area is known for its diverse and progressive culture, which can lead to more open-minded and accepting attitudes towards dating and relationships. So, what can you do to increase your chances of success in the Silicon Valley dating scene? First, be open to new experiences and opportunities to meet people. Attend networking events , social gatherings, and other activities where you can connect with others who share your interests. Second, be upfront about your intentions when dating. By being open-minded, upfront about your intentions, and taking care of yourself, you can increase your chances of success in the Silicon Valley dating scene. Yes and No To answer the question of whether dating in Silicon Valley is difficult, the answer is both yes and no. Opportunities Exist On the other hand, Silicon Valley is also a diverse and exciting place with many opportunities to meet new people. Unbalanced Ratios One factor that makes dating in Silicon Valley challenging is the high ratio of men to women in the tech industry. Hookup Culture Another factor that can make dating in Silicon Valley challenging is the prevalence of hookup culture. Intelligent Dating Pool Despite these challenges, there are also many advantages to dating in Silicon Valley. Maximize your Chances So, what can you do to increase your chances of success in the Silicon Valley dating scene?It's an odd world of social misfits, awkward geniuses, wealthy year-old virgins and cougars. One woman shares her perspective. There is saying amongst women trying to date in Silicon Valley: The odds are good, but the goods are odd. There are tons of guys, but they tend to be socially awkward, career-obsessed, and prone to a Peter Pan mentality. What's it like to try to find love in the Valley? This lawyer, in her early thirties and living in the heart of Silicon Valley, has tried everything: online dating, going to clubs, and even Linx Dating, a high-end Valley matchmaking service. On the condition of anonymity she agreed to tell all. They call it "Man Jose," and it is so true. If you are even an average or above average female, finding a date isn't an issue. You have a lot of guys you can go on dates with, but what makes it difficult is finding a viable partner. Most of the men went to Ivy League schools, are ambitious, and came out here because it's the mecca of the tech world.

In Man-Rich Silicon Valley, It Seems Like Strikeout.com

There's a great mix of guys from all over world, and there are interesting types of people to meet. That said, not a lot of them are viable. And the men that are viable know it. A lot of them are socially awkward. They are extremely smart and logical and think, "I can apply that to a relationship and be rational and logical and that will work. A lot of people in the Valley have started meeting people through salsa dancing — it's really big — and so much social awkwardness comes up. I don't think a lot of guys even interact with women on a consistent basis. You dance with them and some actually shake. They can't look you in the eye. They act like, "Oh my goodness, there is a woman who I'm touching. It makes it difficult to date someone who doesn't even know how to act in a social context; it's just frustrating. I went on a date with a year-old who told me in the beginning, "You are the second person I've ever gone on a date with.It was clear he had never dated. He told me all these things that you wouldn't ever disclose on a first date. It almost felt like an awkward high school setup; we met at this yogurt place. And that's another thing — it's not really typical to go on formal dates. Everyone does coffee for the first date. In other parts of the country, going to dinner is pretty standard; here, when a guy mentions dinner for a first date, it's like, wow — that is shocking! Most people in the tech industry are very laid-back and don't have a lot of time. The mentality is, "Am I going to invest in this or do sort of a pre-date? It's what they wear to work, so they think it translates to date attire — just wearing their scrubby clothes. I wear dresses when I met these guys. They don't put in that effort. Guys who are successful, who dress up, are good-looking, and who aren't socially awkward are a rare breed. And they know it. They have a ton of choices.

Dating in Silicon Valley: Is it Really as Difficult as People Say?

They're the type that's always looking for a better option. I've been on dates with guys you would say are the "whole package," and while they're with you they literally look at other women as they walk away. Guys in Silicon Valley spend lot of time on their career and don't have time to devote to relationships. I'm a lawyer and I work a lot too; most tech guys I meet put in as many or more hours as I do. Sometimes when they have a deadline or are pushing out a product, for instance, they put in 90 hours. They typically say they would live at work if they could. A lot of big tech companies, like Google and LinkedIn, make it conducive to these guys spending every minute of their time there, with great perks like food and showers and the like. The companies where they work promote a bubble mentality. There is an immaturity level that prevails — like they are trying to promote the idea that they are still in college. At Google they have Nerf gun wars. At work, their food is provided for them and they can, essentially, act like they are still in college. It makes it difficult to have a serious relationship. There are two groups of guys. A lot of them are 23 to They are into their career, and most are quite immature. And then there are a ton of early-forties guys who never married. They have waited and were starting companies and then they hit their forties and realized,"Now I'm ready to get married and have kids. Where are the early-thirties guys? We can't figure it out. We don't know where they hang out or what they do. Especially online, if a guy in his mid-thirties messages me, it's a rarity. My friends and I are done dating anyone not in their thirties, and we don't know where these guys are. I've heard that San Francisco is known to be the number one city for gold diggers, but I haven't observed that at all. It isn't realistic, because if you live in this area you have to be able to make quite a bit of money — it's very expensive. It's actually the other way around: There are definitely very accomplished older professional women here. Older women are just picking up the year-olds because they can. It is totally cougar central, and it's hilarious. Everywhere I go, it's and year-olds. I'll say, "You're too young for me.

Is Silicon Valley the Best Place to Be a Single Woman in America?

It won't work," and they tell me, "I've dated older women, and it is so much better. They'll latch on to us, and they think, she'll take care of me. They're being taken care of at work, so why not be in a relationship where they're taken care of too? It's so comical — to the point where when I go out, the first question is, "How old are you? Some of them just latch on and are very persistent. It's flattering, sure, but at the same time, it just doesn't work. A lot of guys have the mentality that they'll wait and they'll find the perfect woman. They don't realize that relationships aren't about perfection. At work, it's all black and white. They say they love their job because it's about fixing a problem and there is always a solution. They don't realize that this isn't how it works in real life. Got a confidential tip? Tech Relationships.Via Flickr: N Topics in this article Relationships. Justine Sharrock BuzzFeed Staff. On a Friday night in downtown Palo Alto — just a stone's throw from Stanford University, office buildings and the technology hub of San Jose — the college bars and vegan restaurants lining its streets teemed with single men. But at Nola, a Creole-themed bar with notoriously bad service, Erika, 25, wasn't having much luck meeting single guys. However, none of the maybe 30 men surrounding us were eager to start a conversation," Erika, who lives in nearby San Jose, told Mic. But it's par for the course in the sunny suburban sprawl of San Jose and the surrounding Bay Area cities, home to technology giants like Facebook, Google and Cisco, where college-educated single men outnumber women. Author Jon Birger cited San Jose or " Man Jose ," as it's called as one of the few cities in America where women can afford to be "more picky" due to a surfeit of eligible single men. But behind the statistics lies a very different story. Despite being outnumbered by men who possess all the stereotypical "marriage material" qualifications, such as a college education and a job, women in San Jose told Mic that dating isn't actually any easier there than anywhere else. Even in a so-called single woman's "paradise," the quest to find a real connection is just as arduous as ever. Hookup culture is just as active. Even in a city where women are in short supply, which theoretically should lead to a greater focus on serious dating, casual, short-term dating is just as common among millennials in San Jose as it is in cities like New York. Not a bad thing, but definitely more filtering and sifting," she said. Bay Area executive coach and psychologist Christina Villarreal told Mic that many women she encounters moved to the Bay Area for two main reasons: advance their careers and meet their life partners. While these women arrive thinking the odds are in their favor, they eventually realize the local dating culture doesn't prioritize marriage as they had hoped. While there tends to be adequate opportunity for 'dating' experiences, some women complain about how difficult it can be to shift from serial dating to settling down with someone in a committed relationship. Delaying marriage isn't a trend limited to Silicon Valley. Sure, there are more men, but they're not all easy to date. Most of the women Mic spoke with said there are a lot of smart, successful men in San Jose, and it's not difficult to meet them.

Dating In San Jose, What Is Dating In Silicon Valley Like?

In fact, the biggest advantage women cited was the wide variety of men in the city, from "tech nerds" to jocks to career-minded businessmen. But just because there are more potential partners out there doesn't mean it's any easier to find a compatible match. And in the tech capitol of the United States, many women said there is a higher concentration of socially inept men than in other cities. Alexandra, 25, told Mic that, in her experience, there's some truth to the awkward "tech guy" stereotype. On the other end of the spectrum is a subset of club-going men who troll for hookups in bars and are "pushy," according to Kristen. Casey, 23, hypothesized that the gender imbalance is to blame for this behavior: With fewer women around, competition increases, resulting in a higher-than-average proportion of hyper-determined, sexually frustrated men on the prowl. Women aren't even necessarily trying to date. But the main reason why Silicon Valley is far from a bachelorette's paradise has nothing to do with the gender ratio. It has to do with the fact that many women aren't even actively pursuing relationships to begin with, preferring to focus on careers, graduate school and friendships rather than settling down. That's in part because technology workers are also notorious for spending long hours at the office, where many personal needs like meals, the gym and even laundry are catered to onsite. That means that the women and men who work in these industries have to make an effort to go out and find those dateable singles, and it's not necessarily effort they're willing to expend. Nancy, 25, said when she's with her male friends and colleagues, the focus is on having a good time, not dating each other. Dating is just as difficult anywhere you go. If nothing else, single women's struggles in San Jose prove that even when women are literally knee-deep in eligible bachelors, they still have the same dating difficulties — balancing work with play, fending off creeps and dealing with commitment-phobes — as other singles around the country.Even if experts would have us believe otherwise, dating is not a numbers game. Making a true connection takes time, dedication, openness, social skills and perhaps a bit of luck, no matter how many statistics tell us where the best city to find a spouse is. In the end, gender ratios don't matter nearly as much as the other factors that go into finding love. Chemistry, personality, lifestyle, situation, values and timing still have to sync up, and none of that can be boiled down to numbers. By Erin Migdol. Love Stories is a series about love in all its forms, with one new essay appearing each day for the first two weeks of February, until Valentine's Day. Remember when everyone was moving to Alaska? Okay, maybe no one actually was moving, but bachelorettes all over the country were joking about relocating to Juneau or Sitka because, according to those morning show polls, that's where all the men were. Well, now that distinction seems to have been bestowed upon Silicon Valley. Last year, it had the highest ratio of single guys to single women in the country. And I'm not going to pretend it didn't hold sway in my decision to move here from Manhattan eight months ago. After all, I've never been much into jocks and always would rather date a dude in a hoodie than one in a pinstripe suit. Plus, as a former New Yorker with a strong sense of style, I thought to myself, I would have the upper hand. While there are a lot of attractive options out here who match my type—smart, dark, slightly scruffy, maybe wearing glasses and a decent pair of jeans—very few of them seem to know how to make eye contact with a girl, even fewer know how to talk to her. I even connected with a matchmaker. Dating in Silicon Valley is different, I found. Here is how:. The odds are good, but the goods are odd. People love to say this about the singles scene in Silicon Valley.

Silicon Valley matchmaker helps tech's rich but 'clueless' bachelors find love

It may interest you to find out that I invented the iPhone. More accurately I was an engineer on the original iPhone…I can show you all the new stuff since you were last here. When we agreed to meet for a drink, I was imagining some sort of swarthy Latin or Italian lover. What walked into the bar, however, was a scrawny, five foot eight YouTube programmer in a hoodie. After one cocktail, I gave him a ride home, and when we got to his apartment, he leaned over the passenger seat for a hug. It was too late. Money is an object. At the time I thought his demonstration was gauche, but I soon realized the bid was small potatoes. Do you know how hard it is to find a wingwoman to go to Cupertino, an hour drive from San Francisco, at p. My female friends have office jobs. I went by myself, and arrived to find a cavernous restaurant with a long bar, half a dozen booths and ten or so two-tops, not counting the enormous dining area. As Amy promised, it was extraordinarily packed for 5 p. I put my laptop on the table and futzed around on my phone look at how tech I am!The joint continued to fill up with more men—and some women—huddled in their own cliques. Again, as advertised, there were plenty of men, and women too, but the idea of table-hopping or striking up conversation seemed inappropriate. Plus, all the guys I felt attracted to were wearing wedding rings. Maybe all these elusive single men are single for the simple reason that they never go out. Both of these scenes were incredibly intimidating. I actually am not a tech person. Still, dating is dating, no matter where you are. In the end, what I learned is that dating in Silicon Valley is no easier than it is anywhere else. Maybe the only way to find love in a city so driven by science and analytics is by keeping the faith. For more information on the illustrator: atelier-bingo. Save this story Save. Emily Holt is a freelance fashion and lifestyle writer living in San Francisco.

The Secrets Of Silicon Valley’s Dating Scene

While the San Francisco Bay Area remains a high ranking city for adventurous singles , others find themselves tired of FOMO-driven dating sprints and casual hook-ups and start to crave the intimacy of a committed romantic relationship. Even with the odds stacked against them, single men in Silicon Valley are more selective in their search for a romantic partner than literally, anywhere else in the country. These findings are completely consistent with the feedback I get from the millennials I work with in tech. Back in I penned an article for techcrunch. Not unlike Silicon Valley startups whose valuations promise more than they actually deliver , millennials continue to rely heavily upon dating apps, an investment that is more likely to lead to user fatigue and burnout than to the relationship promised land. Slowly and unpredictably, at least for now. You must be logged in to post a comment. Skip to content. Like this: Like Loading Previous New year, new goals, now what? Next Olympic athletes and entrepreneurs share one critical trait to conquer pressure under fire. Follow Following. Sign me up. Already have a WordPress. Log in now.Loading Comments Chances are, if you are fresh from undergrad or a newly minted MBA, you are considering moving to the Bay Area for a new job. The luster of working for a tech company in Silicon Valley has its perks, but there are a number of things one should consider aside from pay. Opportunity costs, social life, density, social outlets, lifestyle choices and diversity should be weighted as well to avoid having to wasting your time in despair. Dating in San Jose can be brutal. For those seeking help with their dating woes, check out my services here. Services span on where to live, places to meet singles, grooming, styling, lifestyle choices, hobbies, interests, conversation skills, help with dating apps, photos, identifying blind spots. Specialty working with introverted men, engineers, successful women, gay men and those seeking relationships. Related read : Dating Apps vs Matchmakers. The opportunity costs, cost of living, gender ratios, culture, dating life, transportation options and nightlife are things most people overlook. One big mistake people make is understanding location. People often move to the peninsula or south bay to be closer to jobs, spend less time commuting, or have more space to live. The downside with this is that there is a lack of culture, nightlife, arts and diversity of people that one will observe in San Francisco. Places like Palo Alto have gotten more interesting the last years with better options for dining, nightlife and what not but it pales in comparison to San Francisco and Oakland. These areas are not as walkable as place in SF and the opportunity to meet people organically drops significantly with less everyday interactions and more isolation. Sure the distance may not seem like much and given Caltrain options and taxis, Ubers and Lyfts, having more space or having a shorter commute seems like a no-brainer however most women in San Francisco will only date in city limits.

Settling down in Silicon Valley, just another impossible unicorn to chase?

There is a fine line with being open but being efficient and strategic when it comes to apps like Hinge that heavily monetize users and prey on user behavior. Too many guys in their early 20s go straight to dating apps vs learning social skills to meet women offline. Where men use apps for most if not all their dating efforts, women are more likely to use them as a supplemental way to meet guys outside their routines and social circles. Weekly curated events list: food, drink, arts, culture, nature, classes, music, pop-ups, crafts, speaker series, galas and more! No sponsored ads, no commissioned links. One-stop shop to events in San Francisco. Click here. Generic hobbies, interests and personalities have become memes in popular culture. Google Silicon Valley uniform and you will see people who dress for ease, efficiency and to avoid making decisions. This lack of personality and uniqueness makes it harder to stand out from the crowds. Vests, Allbirds, Bonobos, Patagonia and Northface dominate the brands people wear on a daily basis. This is especially true if you spend most of your life in front of a computer, void of human interaction. Showing enthusiasm, excitement, confidence, approachability and unique sense of style, hobbies and interests will be key to standing out on dating apps. Related read : Worst Dating Photos. Beyond the unfavorable gender ratios on dating apps, there is a lot of frustration experienced on dating apps by both men and women.

THE LINX DATING BLOG

Lack of likes, matches by men result in excessive swiping often times without even looking at profiles. Lots of likes and matches makes it hard to sift through and identify who is sincere and who is interested in something serious vs a casual hookup. A lack of sincerity and effort by guys that translates into women putting in low effort into their profiles, bios and prompts which in turn makes it harder to comment on and initiate conversations. Most people never get help with their profiles, appearance, communication skills or lifestyle choices, which puts them at a disadvantage. Taking classes, expanding hobbies and interests, joining clubs and teams, checking out social events, dressing to impress and learning to smile and initiate conversations will go a long way to leapfrogging the competition that tends to be quite, introverted or anti-social. Learn to get off your phone! Make eye contact, learn to smile, be approachable, dress for the person you want to attract and go to the places that attract the type of people you want to meet. For more tips on how to meet people offline, read this. For fun events to meet people, check out my weekly email newsletter here. The skills and planning needed to get into a great college, MBA program, job-offer, promotion or save money to buy a house are not the same ones required to do well with dating. There are tangible, objective targets and measures that help guide logic. Dating requires soft skills, vulnerability, people skills, communication skills, marketing oneself and a different strategy with each unique match and date. There are no hacks when it comes to dating. Not everyone is looking for the same thing as you, and not everyone is transparent or honest for that matter. These interpersonal skills need practice. Women tend to pre-qualify guys too soon while men tend to use a volume approach to dating apps. Teaching guys etiquette hot to message, plan dates, kiss, dress etc. Women tend to be more picky education, wealth, age than men are and as such have a more limited dating pool. This delays relationships, marriage and family planning.