What Glorifys God More Singleness Or Dating

But take heart; I have overcome the world. I love how forthright Christ is when he promises trouble. Ease will be the exception. Peace, an anomaly. In fact, Jesus experienced it firsthand, as God in the flesh, which is why we can trust his claim that he has truly conquered it. During that time, I could imagine — almost hear — Jesus speaking these words to me. And many, many times since. Yes, the world has trouble, and it can feel unpredictable and chaotic. But at least Jesus told us up front, and gave us hope for those moments when we feel it most. In the past month or so, several people have asked why I made the decision to remain single in response to my same-sex attraction and given the fact that marriage to someone of the opposite sex is still a real and God-honoring possibility for those who experience ongoing SSA. My personality, my hobbies, and my schedule all lend themselves to singleness, which is incredibly providential. So yeah, in some ways, singleness chose me — in other ways, I chose singleness.

Singleness

I continue to choose it every day. Being single in high school was easy. I was too busy with music and writing and church to think about dating. Shortly after graduation, friends were getting hitched left and right. This is Utah, where people marry young. I had to consider whether marriage was realistic for me, someone who continued to experience same-sex attraction. They told me it was a good and godly desire, which I was free to pursue. Such a beautiful response, by the way. So I started seeing singleness the way God does. I started to notice all the ways singleness was a blessing, as it offered more time, opportunities, and even relationships than many of my married friends. By my thirtieth birthday, lifelong singleness had become a viable, even attractive, option. Being more open about SSA and singleness in my thirties has also meant facing more challenges and temptations. But openness has also meant more accountability, more community, more hope. I think singleness is something we have to keep seeing afresh, making adjustments as we go. After all, being a single teen is a lot different than being a single forty-something or octogenarian. Especially if we use the gift to honor God and point people to Jesus.A living picture of the gospel. God designed it and gave it to mankind as the most vivid way to proclaim the gospel and live out its principles. The book is divided into four sections that paint a sweeping portrait of marriage from Genesis to Revelation. He also stresses how the fall in Genesis 3 wrecked the dynamics of this first marriage and all marriages after it with man seeking to dominate his wife, and woman seeking to subvert her husband. But Genesis 3 also comes with a promise of restoration, not only between sinners and God, but also between husbands and wives. Ortlund first discusses how the Mosaic Law sought to repair the damage done to marriage after the fall. Some of the laws that seem odd or downright unethical to modern readers think levirate marriage were actually quite civilized, especially compared to other Near Eastern cultures. But despite the struggles that come with marriage post-fall, the biblical writers want us to remember its original glory. Proverbs and the Song of Solomon celebrate marital love and sex, and offer warnings to protect marriage from sexual sin, which further proves how important the metaphor is to God. Ortlund then touches on the prophets, where the true meaning of marriage begins to unfold. Enter Jesus, our bridegroom. Although Jesus fulfilled the law, eliminating civil and ceremonial customs, one thing that remained unchanged is marriage: one man, one woman, for life. The apostle Paul, too, used Genesis as the standard for marriage: once in 1 Corinthians , and more famously in Ephesians 5 a passage often recited at weddings , where he explains how marriage reflects Christ and the Church. Finally, Ortlund takes us to Revelation, where the institute of human marriage comes to an end and the better reality to which it pointed all along begins: the marriage supper of the Lamb, where Christ and his people are united forever. Ortlund notes that God made the heavens and earth for the marriage of Adam and Eve, but he will soon make a new heaven and new earth for the ultimate marriage of Jesus and his bride, the Church. Sometimes those claims come from the culture, or worse, my own heart.

5 Reasons Why Singleness is Better than Marriage (and Vice Versa)

I have to remind myself of that pretty often. And in a marriage-oriented, sex-obsessed world, it takes more than a pithy remark about love coming in many forms. The friend who sends postcards from wherever she happens to be — quirky, handwritten reminders that our friendship matters. The couple that invites me over for movie nights and homemade slightly burnt dinners, and stays up late with me after their kids have gone to sleep. The family that lets me walk into their house without knocking, raid their fridge, play their piano, cuddle up on their couch, and even takes me on family vacations. But in my heart, the list goes on. But I can tell you what I know: my heart belongs to these folks. Two years ago I sent twelve questions to myself via email, intending to answer them in the morning. Well… Last night I found the unanswered questions buried deep in my inbox. Talk about procrastination. Both are God-approved paths, and both present opportunities to thrive in holiness and happiness. Do you believe married people are more important to God, ministry, or the Church? No, but the Church has sometimes made it seem that way. We tend to focus on the nuclear family with sermons, bible studies, and activities aimed at that demographic. He offers us eternal rewards that rival the blessings of married people Isaiah , and singleness help us serve him with undivided interests 1 Corinthians Lewis talks about in his book, The Four Loves. Do you believe single people have more problems than married people? Not any happier than I am already.Of course, dummy! Marriage foreshadows a greater reality to come. Do you believe singleness can bring blessings to you and your ministry? Yes, it already has. Being single frees me to do things with my time that many married friends are unable to do because of their commitment to spouse and kids. But the answer is no. I believe SOME of them should be married. The Apostle Paul tackles this question best in 1 Corinthians 7, which gives principles for serving God in both marriage and singleness. But he also advocates for singleness, as does Jesus Matthew My greatest problem has been taken care of: my sins are forgiven through the blood of Christ. Most of my problems now have to do with still being fallen, not being single.

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4 Ways God Will Get You Ready for a Glorifying Relationship

Getting married would create different problems which my married friends can tell you all about , along with different blessings. See the answer to question four. Less human? Jesus was single, but also the most perfect human to ever walk the earth. God lavishes me with love and calls me his son 1 John He rejoices over me Zephaniah None of these blessings is a result of marriage or singleness , but rather our union with Christ. One of my dear friends is a divorced mom of two. When I was planning a trip to California last year, she invited me to stay with her family to save on hotel costs. I was super excited to spend time with them — catching up on life, staying up late, not being jolted awake by the evil knock of a housekeeper the next morning. Unfortunately, her pastor had other plans, because he worried what other people might think about a man staying with a woman. In his book, Forbidden Friendships , Joshua D.In the past century or so, Christians have been conditioned to avoid meaningful relationships with the opposite sex out of fear they could lead to lust, fornication, or adultery. He notes one Christian college that prohibits physical contact between the sexes, and where men and women are required to use separate staircases! Jones says these boundaries have harmed rather than helped the Church in achieving sexual purity and obeying our call to love one another as the family of God. Jones says modern-day Christians are far more leery of opposite-sex friendships than our spiritual ancestors were. From missionaries to revolutionaries, history proves that mixed friendships flourished when rooted in mutual love for God. When it comes to the Bible, the Apostle Paul seems to have had many close female friends, mentioning Nympha by name in his letter to the Colossians. Jesus himself kept company with women, often breaking social taboos regarding male-female relationships ex. The Bible gives us freedom to pursue mixed friendships and be a witness to the world of how men and women can relate to each other as new creations in Christ. We are, after all, still sinners. Jones admits we need to guard our hearts, especially in a hyper-sexualized culture. But like everything else in this world, mixed friendships need to be transformed by the renewing of our minds Romans Rather than react in fear, we ought to obey in love — learning what it means to see friends as brothers, sisters, mothers, and fathers in Christ. This is a message churches need to hear — although, I must admit, the flow of his arguments felt a bit sloppy to me. But you know what I love about Jones? He has a bright view of singleness and celibacy. This, of course, endears him to me.

Christ-Centered Dating: Pursuing a Relationship That Glorifies God

He believes the disappearance of mixed friendships is a result of a bigger problem: the devaluation of friendship in general. And he knows this has ramifications for single and same-sex attracted Christians, where friendship within the family of God is essential to living and loving fully. So, should I have been able to stay with my lady friend and her family? And, of course, that was OK! As Jones says, the cross bridges the divide between the sexes. I was just a boy when I became a Christian, still building forts, climbing trees, and using my superpowers to conquer the world. It was simple faith in the beginning. But now I know about sex. I admit this complicates things. For me, maturing in my faith means acknowledging the complications that come with loving Jesus. Most of the time I want to glorify God and pursue holiness through singleness, but sometimes I still want to marry a man. When the U. We see and feel and experience life differently. We grieve for the unrepentant, especially our loved ones.Or in my case, make me straight. Christianity is no cushy religion; it comes with built-in conflict. Our sexuality is no exception. OK, more than a sting for that last one, more like a chronic pain. The God-man, who himself is profoundly and beautifully complicated, came not to make things simpler in this life, but to reconcile us to God, take away our sins, and bring us into eternal fellowship with him and other believers. Knowing him is the best thing that ever happened to me. I imagine celibate people think about this more often than those who are married with children. Loving them like flesh and blood, learning what it means to be adopted by God. I see friendship through the lens of celibacy. For many single people, friendship is a gateway to romance or marriage. But celibacy has taught me to value friendship for what it is, and not what it can become. I see friendship itself as something to pursue, enjoy, cultivate, and commit to. I see marriage through the lens of celibacy. But celibacy does remove me from some of the practical aspects of marriage — things that are hard to grasp as a mere spectator.

An Excellent Christian Explanation On Singleness and The Gift of Singleness

This can be a problem. For example, if a married friend turns down my invitation to dinner because he wants to spend time with his wife and kids, I can have a hard time accepting that — not intellectually, but emotionally. I see singleness through the lens of celibacy. Christian singleness looks and feels a lot different from its worldly counterpart. Outside church walls, singleness is often disassociated from celibacy and rarely considered GOOD. And, of course, Jesus led the single life, too — for about as long as I have! Singleness in my teens Being single in high school was easy. Singleness in my thirties By my thirtieth birthday, lifelong singleness had become a viable, even attractive, option. Marriage in the Law, Wisdom, and Prophets Ortlund first discusses how the Mosaic Law sought to repair the damage done to marriage after the fall. Marriage in the New Testament Enter Jesus, our bridegroom. Do you believe single people are missing out on love?Do you believe marriage will make you happy? Do you believe you can love God and love others as a single person? Do you believe marriage is a temporary institution? Do you believe single people should be married? Do you believe marriage will solve your problems? Yes, Jesus will complicate your life. Simple as that. I see family through the lens of celibacy. But the truth is, in this day and age a lot of singles are frustrated. Take fairy tales for example, how do they all end? The couple get married and live happily ever after. Movies, music and television shows, everything centres around being in love. This message has naturally been ingrained in our minds, and has left many of us believing that marriage is the end goal.