Three Guys Start Dating A Woman Revenge

three guys start dating a woman revenge

Federal government websites often end in. The site is secure. Background: This research examines how, when a romantic partner commits a perceived transgression that leads to couple break up, vengeful reactions are predicted by the type of transgression and the Dark Triad of personality. Methods: An incidental sample of participants, half male and half female aged 18 to 70, completed a questionnaire developed by the authors to assess how they had reacted after being the perceived victims of a transgression committed by their partner and a measure of the Dark Triad. Results: Results show half of the people who feel as though they are victims of a partner transgression show revenge reactions. These reactions are more emotional than rational and do not usually anticipate their consequences or success. Moreover, revenge is related primarily to psychopathy and to a lesser extent to Machiavellianism. Psychopathy is the best predictor for revenge thoughts and actions, whereas narcissism does not predict revenge when controlling for other dark traits. Conclusions: This study contributes to the explanation of revenge reactions in couple relationships in relation to the type of transgression perceived and the Dark Triad. Conflicts that arise out of revenge may have long-lasting consequences for both the perceived aggressor and victim, and our results may be useful for assessing risks, monitoring, and preventing negative consequences for partners or ex-partners. This research examines whether the thoughts and actions of people who take revenge in retaliation after suffering some perceived harm are related to Dark Triad traits: Machiavellianism, subclinical psychopathy, and subclinical narcissism [ 1 ].

Revenge in Couple Relationships and Their Relation to the Dark Triad

Revenge is a motivation for crime and detrimental behavior, and it has been present in the literature of all ages, sometimes describing it, other times encouraging its fulfillment. Strong people forgive. Intelligent people ignore. It is difficult to calculate the number of crimes committed in revenge, especially as most statistics do not include criminal motivation. Nevertheless, most homicides are motivated by revenge [ 2 ]. Revenge is an ever-present, long-lasting phenomenon that may be construed as a health problem considering its consequences for the victim and the perpetrator, and it sometimes is executed years after the event that triggered it has finished. Revenge has been compared to aggression [ 4 ], and it is construed as a behavioral manifestation. Revenge may be individual or group, and individual revenge usually manifests more intensely than group revenge [ 5 ]. Prior to revenge, there must be a perception of having suffered an injustice, that this injustice was carried out by specific individuals who they consider guilty, and that there must be a violent retaliation against that individual or group blamed for the perceived aggression [ 4 ]. Therefore, violence is directed against the person that the alleged victim identifies as causing the harm suffered, and intentionality is attributed to the perceived aggressor [ 6 , 7 ]. Thus, the perceived victim becomes an aggressor, often without evidence of an actual wrongdoing from the recipient of revenge. Often, the aggressor justifies their actions, claiming that they are the actual victims [ 8 ]. The perception of being unfairly treated leads to anger, which is an emotion associated to revenge [ 9 , 10 ]. The relationship between anger and revenge has inspired research that examines these two variables in relation to Dark Personality.Previous research has found that vengeance is correlated to the Dark Triad [ 11 ], and evidence of a specific relationship between narcissism and revenge has also been found [ 12 , 13 , 14 ]. Further research [ 15 ] found that Machiavellianism and psychopathy are related to emotional vengefulness and negatively related to justice decisions. More specifically related to the present study, the Dark Triad predicts revenge against a romantic partner after an infidelity, as they are related to an increase in the perception of revenge effectiveness and the endorsement of power and justice goals. In cases of infidelity, the Dark Triad, and especially psychopathy, predicts every type of revenge except ending the relationship [ 17 ]. The Dark Triad also predicts jealousy motivated revenge [ 18 ]. Revenge in couples usually occurs when the relationship ends and one of the partners does not forgive the other for some perceived humiliation, such as an infidelity or break up [ 19 , 20 , 21 , 22 ]. Revenge has been conceived as an alternative mechanism to the justice system that often involves breaking the law. However, in cases of conflict between parents, this resource is used even when the justice system provides a solution [ 23 , 24 ]. This may happen because the perpetrator considers that the perceived harm must be directly repaired beyond the solutions provided by law and society. This leads to the notion of revenge as a harmful behavior aimed at inflicting pain to others, and it is accompanied by resentment, which is a concept that is excluded from penal codes but not from personal ones. Revenge, especially when it involves inflicting harm, is negatively related to forgiveness, which in turn is associated to higher positivity and happiness [ 25 , 26 ]. The usefulness of revenge and what the avenger achieves has been much debated [ 27 , 28 ]. However, research finds no evidence of positive personal outcomes resulting from revenge [ 4 , 29 ]. Revenge is more intense when it involves a romantic partner [ 30 , 31 ]. Moreover, when revenge is carried out by people who were emotionally close, perpetrators use all kinds of elements within reach, such as gossip, hurtful remarks to acquaintances, coercive actions, harassment, etc. In this context, the aggressor seizes the concept of "virtuous violence" [ 34 ], so that revenge is justified as the only option left to deal with their perceived offense. The perpetrator seeks support from people in their environment, and revenge becomes a social and moral obligation, even endorsed by social values sometimes biased against women, as it happens in societies with a greater culture of honor [ 28 , 35 , 36 , 37 ]. Another defining characteristic of revenge is that it does not happen when the target of revenge is perceived as more powerful than the perpetrator, and in fact perpetrators usually perceive they have both power and right to exert revenge [ 19 , 35 , 38 , 39 ].

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This study aim is to examine whether, in a couple conflict, the type of perceived transgressions by the partner is related to revenge decision making. Additionally, this study aims to determine to what extent the Dark Triad influences revenge when a member of the couple feels aggrieved and decides to act against the perceived aggressor. It is hypothesized that both emotional and cognitive aspects are involved in the process of revenge. Hence, our first hypothesis is that revenge will be positively associated with feelings of relief and satisfaction. Conversely, our second hypothesis is that revenge will be negatively related to planning and anticipating outcomes. The third hypothesis in this study is that the Dark Triad of personality will be positively related to revenge. According to the literature [ 40 ], this can occur through different processes. Subclinical psychopathy is the variable most strongly associated with behaviors harmful against others because it involves callousness and insensitivity. In turn, damage to self-esteem and the ego threat of receiving an offense can make narcissistic individuals eager to take revenge to compensate for their feelings of insecurity. Machiavellianism, besides, is associated with manipulative behaviors with a higher level of planning to obtain tangible results, which matches the anticipatory behaviors associated to revenge. In any case, the three traits contribute to a common core related to harmful behavior toward others because they all have common elements such as selfishness and lack of empathy [ 41 ]. A series of criteria were established for sample selection: Participants were chosen among people who had had a couple relationship, which had lasted at least six months, and that resulted in a breakup due to a negative interaction event experienced as detrimental that the respondent blamed on the other partner and led them to consider revenge whether they had carried it out or not. Undergraduate students were given the option to collaborate in the study in exchange for course credit. These collaborators were briefed about the eligibility criteria and asked to contact suitable participants within their social networks, and then, they provided participants with a link to complete an online questionnaire. Thus, the sample was incidental and additionally, a snowball procedure was used, so participants who met the criteria were asked to provide contact with other eligible participants. In this way, participants were contacted, among whom there were who met the criteria having had a partner and having had some conflict with them. A series of control questions were used to detect participants answering the items without paying attention, following procedures to screen careless responding [ 42 ].

Hence, participants had to be eliminated, as there were suspicions that they had not paid sufficient attention when answering, so the final sample included participants. We developed a survey about the revenge-related reactions provoked by a conflict within a couple relationship. These questions were based on forensic professional practice and were grouped as follows:. Perception of being hurt: Revenge involves the perception of being the victim of an intentional harm. Evaluation of alternatives by the alleged victim when feeling hurt: People take revenge when dialogue is not possible, resorting to justice is unthinkable or unusable, or when they are not willing to let the conflict go without revenge. Evaluation of the chances of successful revenge: When someone thinks revenge is the best possible solution, they consider whether revenge can succeed. Finally, we wanted to know whether the individual expected to feel better emotionally after revenge. This instrument consists of 27 items, 9 for each trait in the Dark Triad. For this study, we used the Spanish version [ 43 ]. Reliability for this scale in our sample was: Machiavellianism, 0.

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Therefore, reliability rates were considered appropriate. Participants read a brief description of the study and gave their informed consent. Participants were required to answer every item, and the data collection procedure did not allow missing responses. Prior to performing the investigation, permission was requested from the Research Center Ethics Committee of the corresponding author. The research meets the ethical criteria of the Helsinki protocol and the American Psychological Association. In this way, the role of each predictor could be verified, controlling for the effect of the rest of the predictors on the model. These qualitative categories were conceptually developed by the authors based on forensic practice and were very broad to include most conflicts described by the participants. Categories considered that conflicts were either related to communication, trust, sex, or aggression, and a particular conflict description could fit more than one category e. The advantage of using very broad categories was that responses were easier to identify as belonging to a category and that no category had a small number of cases compared to others, although about one in 20 responses did not fit in any category. A sample of descriptions was categorized separately by two judges, and they fully agreed. The most frequent category referred to communication problems, including arguments, disrespect, distancing, and isolation from the partner The other categories related to sexual infidelities committed by the partner In addition, 6. The results are presented in Table 1.Response percentages for each reaction to perceived transgressions committed by the romantic partner. The thought of revenge information collected before discarding the participants who did not consider revenge happens in That is, even though the participant perceived that their partner or ex-partner meant to hurt them, only half of them thought about revenge. Revenge happened to a greater extent in infidelities and aggressions. Among those who thought about revenge, between 8. Between This perception is higher in the case of being the victim of aggression. The vast majority acknowledged that they used dialogue to try to restore normality in the relationship Nearly half of those who felt hurt reported that the problem subsequently continued. Infidelity is the problem with the least tendency to dialogue. Having to go to the police or the justice system was infrequent except in the case of aggression, where As to whether acts of revenge are carried out mainly rationally or emotionally, between In both cases, issues of infidelity stand out. Finally, performing revenge did not always imply the anticipation of emotional relief, as this relief only occurs in Relief after revenge stands out in infidelity conflicts. Table 2 below summarizes these results. Averages and standard deviations of the variables of the Dark Triad as a function of vengeful actions. Subsequently, a logistic regression analysis was carried out using as a criterion the different revenge-related thoughts and behaviors and as predictors the variables of the Dark Triad, as well as sex and the type of conflict.

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As for the categorical predictors in the model, in the case of sex, men were taken as a reference category to make comparisons. For the type of conflict, the reference category was the conflicts not classified within any of the four defined categories. As a contrast method, we used the difference of each type of conflict with the mean of the other categories. Table 3 shows the results and the significant predictors for each thought and behavior related to revenge. The model for thoughts related to revenge on the partner provided a correct prognosis of As for the effect of each predictor on the model, keeping constant the other predictors, Machiavellianism and psychopathy were significant predictors of thoughts of revenge, but narcissism was not. Probability ratios indicated that for each increase of one point on a scale of 1 to 5 in the Machiavellianism score, the odd ratio OR showed that the odds of having vengeful thoughts were multiplied by 1. For psychopathy, this increase was almost 1. Sex was found to be a significant predictor of thoughts of vengeance. The estimated probability ratios indicate that women are 1. All conflicts were significant predictors of revenge, but not in the same direction. Whereas infidelity and aggression increased thoughts of revenge, suffering jealousy and control and communication conflicts were associated with a lower probability of thinking about revenge 1. The model based on thoughts related to taking revenge against third parties was significant, although it did not improve the prognosis compared to the initial The only variable of the Dark Triad that predicted revenge against third parties was psychopathy, and each point of increase in the psychopathy score multiplied by 2. Sex was not a significant predictor in this model, whereas suffering aggression and suffering jealousy and control predicted a decrease to about one-half in the chances of having these thoughts compared to other types of conflicts. Machiavellianism and psychopathy predicted an increase in the likelihood of attribution of harmful intentionality, whereas narcissism, controlling for the effect of other variables, predicted a decrease. Sex did not predict attribution of harmful intentionality but suffering aggressions did predict attribution, 2. In contrast, jealousy, and control and communication problems were associated with a lower perception of harmful intentionality. Regarding attempts at dialogue after being harmed by the partner, the model indicated a good fit but did not improve the initial prognosis of However, it indicated that psychopathy reduced the chances of dialogue, and for each additional point in psychopathy dialogue, it became 1. The other variable that reduced the likelihood of dialogue were conflicts over infidelity. Compared with other conflicts, dialogue was 1. There was no significant effect on aggression, but jealousy and control and communication problems were associated with a higher likelihood of dialogue. As far as finding a solution, no variable of the Dark Triad or of sex were significant predictors. The results only showed that conflicts related to infidelity were 2. The predictive model on the answers about whether the problem continued after seeking a solution showed a modest improvement in the prognosis from the initial Psychopathy increased the chances of the conflict reappearing. Compared to men, women perceived to a greater extent that the conflict had not been definitively resolved. The results also indicate that conflicts related to aggression and jealousy and control are the ones that last longer. Regarding resorting to the police or the justice system in response to the conflict, which was indicated by 8. The only variable of the Dark Triad that was a significant predictor of going to the police or justice is Machiavellianism. Compared to men, women reported more often that they would go to the police or justice.

three guys start dating a woman revenge

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There were also differences according to the type of conflict. Both infidelities and communication and distancing problems were associated with decrement in police or judicial complaints, reducing the odds to one-half or one-third. Not surprisingly, aggressions were clearly associated with a greater tendency to report, multiplying by 3. Machiavellianism and psychopathy but not narcissism predicted a positive response to the assessment of success. Compared to men, women appraised the success of revenge more. Differences were also found according to the type of conflict. Both infidelities as well as jealousy and control significantly predicted the assessment of success but in opposite directions. In terms of assessing not being discovered, the model modestly improved the base prediction from Machiavellianism and psychopathy predicted a positive response in the assessment of not being discovered. Again, narcissism was not a significant predictor when controlling for the effect of other predictors. Women value protecting themselves against reprisals more than men, and there were also differences according to the type of conflict for conflicts caused by jealousy and control and communication problems, in the sense that there was a decrease in valuing protecting oneself against retaliation. Finally, the predictive model for emotional relief achieved by revenge was examined. The model showed an increase in prediction from The model was significant but did not obtain a good fit. Machiavellianism and psychopathy predicted a positive response on emotional relief, but narcissism did not. Women were more likely to experience emotional relief than men.

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Differences were also found according to the type of conflict for conflicts caused by infidelities, which doubled the chances of experiencing emotional relief, and jealousy and control, which reduced the probabilities of feeling relief after revenge. This research has examined the predictive capacity of the dark personality traits in the process of revenge for an offense committed by the partner. Regarding our first hypothesis about emotional aspects involved in this process, results showed that revenge is associated with emotional relief or satisfaction and is predominant in cases of infidelity. We also found support for our second hypothesis: cognitive aspects of appraisal of success and avoiding being discovered are perceived as less important than emotional aspects and are related mainly to the dark traits of Machiavellianism and psychopathy. Regarding our third hypothesis, Dark Triad traits are consistent predictors of revenge and its planning, especially psychopathy and Machiavellianism, although narcissism is not a significant predictor, which goes against our expectations. There are significant differences in narcissism in the t -tests, but when all the predictors are introduced into a logistic regression, narcissism loses predictive power. However, both Machiavellianism and psychopathy maintain their predictive power as predictors of revenge when controlling for the other variables in the model. Thus, revenge is associated both with cognitive and emotional components, and this is especially relevant in the case of infidelities, since ORs show that appraisal of revenge success and emotional relief both increase in this type of conflict. Apart from the reported role of Machiavellianism and psychopathy, other dark traits might be specifically related to cognitive and emotional components of revenge. Within the planning components, more efforts are made to harm than to protect oneself against possible retaliation, suggesting that the dark trait of malevolence [ 41 ], which entails seeking to harm to others even if one suffers harm, may be involved in the process. An increase of revenge-related thoughts and behaviors related to the type of conflict was also found. Infidelity and aggression are the conflicts that provoke greater revenge-related reactions. Sex is also a relevant variable to explain the revenge process, as women contemplate revenge more, show greater planning, and experience greater emotional relief and satisfaction. In any case, it should be stated that this effect was obtained keeping the values of the Dark Triad variables constant when comparing males and females. However, men generally score higher than women in these variables [ 39 ], which are associated with revenge, so this may be mitigating gender differences. To investigate this effect further, possible differences between men and women should also be examined in acknowledging harmful behaviors toward their partner. Other results show distinct characteristics of revenge. Around half of the participants who feel aggrieved by the other partner think about revenge, while the rest prefer not to act against their partner or ex-partner. When revenge takes place, it sometimes targets not only their partner but sometimes includes other family members and relatives. For retaliation to take place, it is not necessary for the alleged victim to perceive intentionality in their partner, because in about half of the cases in which no harmful intention is attributed, the participant still thinks about revenge.

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The legal professional confronted him about his infidelity, but he claimed she'd got the “wrong guy”. “When I started scrolling on Facebook.

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TL;DR – My fiancé started dating me to get revenge on my brother for seriously hurting his cousin. He planned to break up with me as soon as I.

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Were you dating at the time? If not, then it has no relevance to you. The way to get over it is to start by figuring out why it bothers you.

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Or maybe some girl cheated on them in their formative years, and they decided it's time to take revenge and use any and all women that enter their life. Or.

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